Diane Hine

(25 July 1956)

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A View


The narrow path towards Mt Toolbrunup
inclines through fragrant green enclosing wood.
He forged ahead, I kept up best I could.
A tumbled boulder slope leads ever up.

A wall of shale and quartzite borders right
and white mist tendrils slipped across its face.
I turned for one last gaze, as cool embrace
of cloud bathed all things near in pallid light.

The peak was wrapped in solitary peace.
We sat on massive thicket creviced slabs,
all patched with hard white crinkled lichen scabs,
in arbitrary mountain clime's caprice.

I lingered when he left for just a while,
a space to sample isolation's charms.
Then down the slick wet rocks ungainly style,
discreet descent on rear end, heels and palms.

We missed the view and so we have avowed
to reach that veiled unbounded space again
and maybe if we're fortunate, well then…
once more, we'll sit within a mountain's cloud.

Submitted: Friday, August 31, 2012

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  • Bronze Star - 5,417 Points Roseann Shawiak (10/1/2014 5:16:00 PM)

    Excelllent imagery, I could feel myself walking behind you, noticing everything as you pointed it out! I like how the white mist tendrils slipped across it's face. Fascinating poem, all that climbing and clouds bathing everything so you couldn't see the view. Would love to read the poem where you ascend the mountain again and see the view, I bet it will be spectacular! ! Thank you for this wonderful poem through nature. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,234 Points Daniel Brick (9/28/2014 2:10:00 PM)

    Your closing reference to sitting within a mountain's cloud wowed me - I love the bringing together of opposites, the fragile, almost transparent cloud and the heavy opaque mountain. During the ascent your plant references gave me a vivid sense of place, and I almost felt a lightness as they ascended as if there was very little effort involved. That may not be true literally but it's how this journey upward drew me out of myself. I like the open-endedness - we do not really see the vista so there is the promise of another ascent. In fact, that's what I take from this poem - the joy of ascending, the need to keep ascending. I have breathed the air of an alien place made familiar through your words! You see I HAD to return to this poem: it nourishes me. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,234 Points Daniel Brick (4/25/2014 11:03:00 AM)

    The simplicity of the title drew me to this poem and the poem amply rewarded me with multiple views as you and your guide climb from the lowlands to the heights. Your descriptions of the natural world are vivid with sights, fragrances and textures - very sensory, very immediate, a palpable experience made possible by your patient detailing of each phase of the ascent. The last stanza is a wonder! WITHIN A MOUNTAIN'S CLOUD combines the heaviness of rock with the lightness of air in a complex, startling moment. I have taken this poem inside of me. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,555 Points * Sunprincess * (11/4/2013 10:47:00 AM)

    this poem is nicely written, it captured my attention again... also reminds me of the views on the cherohala skyway...
    would love to have seen the view which inspired this write... love the poem :) (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,555 Points Constance K Yost (9/7/2012 7:54:00 PM)

    Fantastic poem-could have been written only by someone who was there.I'm afraid to get on a ladder, yet I
    enjoyed this adventurous writing. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,845 Points Valsa George (9/3/2012 5:16:00 AM)

    The trekking through' fragrant green enclosing woods' to the moutainous terrain over the 'shale with white mist tendrils slipped across its face' and your rest on' the creviced slabs patched with lichen scabs' must have been a mystifying experience! GREAT! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 85 Points Danny Draper (9/3/2012 4:50:00 AM)

    A beautiful poem rich in experience and description. The second verse is sublime in its descriptive imagery. Such finesse. Thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 36 Points Tiger Lily (9/2/2012 12:43:00 PM)

    This is a beautifully descriptive piece. Days spent like this are the best. Walking among nature with someone you love. Lovely poem Diane. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 8 Points Rajendran Muthiah (9/2/2012 6:19:00 AM)

    The peak was wrapped in solitary peace.-Beautiful expression in this line. You Australians excel in making the common rhyming words. A pleasure to read. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,308 Points Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi (9/1/2012 3:42:00 AM)

    maybe if we're fortunate, well then…
    once more, we'll sit within a mountain's cloud.
    The feeling is wonderful as the clouds that pass through us! (Report) Reply

Read all 19 comments »

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