A Surprise For Myself.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

on his diary he writes:

dear diary
i have sacrificed a lot
years are like
layers of steel on my back
time is running fast
abnormally
on engineered days
canals are overflowing
with water
the cities are flooded
i am drowning
and yet how helpless
can i be
how dumb
not to call for professional
help or even
to talk to a close friend
about it
only to find that actually
i do not have any
of these
closer encounters
or needed
intimacies

tomorrow my dear diary
i will write more
courageously
i pray for more strength
more wisdom

tomorrow dear diary
i will surprise myself.