Valsa George


A Song of Defeat


I hammered some words
Out from the quarry of my brain
They fell around in shards;
Some like boulders, some like rocks and rubble
I picked them up one by one.
Block on block, I piled them up
Thinking I could build a ‘pleasure dome’

But,
When it was time for the workman
To marvel over the beauty and wonder
Of his dream creation
His masonry tumbled down
Like sand castles built
By little hands on sea strands
Or dunes of quicksand sliding down

I have lost count of the times,
This has happened before.
Now that I stay resigned,
Amid a heap of debris

Is there any use feeling remorse?

Like Nero fiddling on his harp
When Rome was burning
I sit on this pile of wreck
Piping my thoughts away
In the cusp between victory and defeat
Exacting as much ecstasy as I can
Before the truth looms large
In all its stark nakedness!

Submitted: Monday, August 26, 2013
Edited: Monday, August 26, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

A phase of imaginative sterility!

Comments about this poem (A Song of Defeat by Valsa George )

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  • Silver Star - 7,645 Points Deepak Kumar Pattanayak (8/4/2014 12:05:00 PM)

    A song of defeat it may be that speaks reflectively a lot on ups and downs of civilisation and one's disposition
    but it is loaded with inspiring things that can't weigh down the defeat at all........Valsa.......a great piece (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,310 Points Patricia Grantham (9/5/2013 8:47:00 AM)

    Yes mankind has built many wonders of the world. But they
    too are made by hands and soon will tumble down. Either by
    force, war or just plain greed. When we lift ourselves high above
    others and then exalt in what we have done. Then we are in
    jeopardy of a great fall. The clay does not ask the potter why have
    you fashioned me this way? . A thought provoking write Valsa. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 14 Points Chandra Thiagarajan (9/2/2013 9:14:00 AM)

    The poem is great with its charm though a song of defeat. Even from the very first line it is enchanting, Valsa. I loved this phase of yours for evoking such a beautiful poetry. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,178 Points Geetha Jayakumar (8/28/2013 7:58:00 AM)

    Beautifully portrayed...Block by block, I piled it one by one and a pleasure dome was ready, but couldn't see its beauty, before that it was tumbled down to sands.. I sat on rumbles swinging between victory and defeat..
    Loved reading each lines....feels that in one point of life, we too feels the same..I felt it many times...
    Loved reading this beautiful poem... (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,133 Points Dinesh Nair (8/28/2013 7:30:00 AM)

    This poem proclaims itself to be a piece that speaks of an invisible remorse which helps the weaving of a song with glow and charm. The sense of defeatism afflicting any of the Valsa poems is quite unforgivable and will amount to ironic somersaulting of your outlook towards life... A fantastic poem indeed..
    As for Nero fiddling, it is to be understood that the monarch was not that insensitive to human woes. History has propagated half lies on him and Nero was in fact one of the 13 kings who 'built Rome in more than just one day! '. Anyways a mandatory 10 for you once again. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 79 Points David Wood (8/27/2013 5:21:00 AM)

    We have all been there too. Creating poems in our minds before throwing them away. A good poem Valsa (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,485 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (8/26/2013 10:31:00 AM)

    How many words you throw away before you create a poem?
    How many tests you do before building a stable structure?
    How many failures before success?
    We all hear about success stories. Thank you for a sincere attempt to record an attempt through a beautiful poem which provides inspiration in an indirect way. I think Nero's is a different story. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 16 Points Yasmeen Khan (8/26/2013 10:15:00 AM)

    Remorse can spur creativity if we have a profound outlook and sheer enlightenment. a lovely write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 465 Points Kee Thampi (8/26/2013 3:38:00 AM)

    I hammered some words
    and then poet writes
    ''Like Nero fiddling on his harp
    When Rome was burning''

    love to read
    ''there any use feeling remorse? '' (Report) Reply

Read all 12 comments »

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