A Song Of Defeat Poem by Valsa George

A Song Of Defeat

Rating: 4.6


I hammered some words
Out from the quarry of my brain
They fell around in shards;
Some like boulders, some like rocks and rubble
I picked them up one by one.
Block on block, I piled them up
Thinking I could build a ‘pleasure dome’

But,
When it was time for the workman
To marvel over the beauty and wonder
Of his dream creation
His masonry tumbled down
Like sand castles built
By little hands on sea strands
Or dunes of quicksand sliding down

I have lost count of the times,
This has happened before.
Now that I stay resigned,
Amid a heap of debris

Is there any use feeling remorse?

Like Nero fiddling on his harp
When Rome was burning
I sit on this pile of wreck
Piping my thoughts away
In the cusp between victory and defeat
Exacting as much ecstasy as I can
Before the truth looms large
In all its stark nakedness!

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
A phase of imaginative sterility!
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Pradip Chattopadhyay 26 August 2013

In the cusp between victory and defeat Exacting as much ecstasy as I can great write, Valsa.

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Yasmin Khan 26 August 2013

Remorse can spur creativity if we have a profound outlook and sheer enlightenment. a lovely write.

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Tirupathi Chandrupatla 26 August 2013

How many words you throw away before you create a poem? How many tests you do before building a stable structure? How many failures before success? We all hear about success stories. Thank you for a sincere attempt to record an attempt through a beautiful poem which provides inspiration in an indirect way. I think Nero's is a different story.

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David Wood 27 August 2013

We have all been there too. Creating poems in our minds before throwing them away. A good poem Valsa

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Dinesan Madathil 28 August 2013

This poem proclaims itself to be a piece that speaks of an invisible remorse which helps the weaving of a song with glow and charm. The sense of defeatism afflicting any of the Valsa poems is quite unforgivable and will amount to ironic somersaulting of your outlook towards life... A fantastic poem indeed.. As for Nero fiddling, it is to be understood that the monarch was not that insensitive to human woes. History has propagated half lies on him and Nero was in fact one of the 13 kings who 'built Rome in more than just one day! '. Anyways a mandatory 10 for you once again.

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I sit on this pile of wreck Piping my thoughts away In the cusp between victory and defeat.A poem with a piper's melody. Beautiful....10

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Kumarmani Mahakul 10 December 2018

Lovely write dear madam, I appreciate your way of presentation. Really it is a beautiful poem brilliantly penned and amazingly shared.10

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Bri Edwards 20 October 2016

it is difficult to believe one of valsa's poems would crumble, unless she wanted it to crumble! but, it probably HAS HAPPENED! :) bri

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Bri Edwards 20 October 2016

My favorite stanza is the first. Favorite lines: “Now that I stay resigned, Amid a heap of debris Is there any use feeling remorse? ” ……..i like the space between 2nd and 3rd lines. Intentional I ………………………..i suppose? Maybe not “harp”, if any instrument actually was played by Nero. There are no photos! But “fiddle” may also mean: [according to a Google article] “touch or fidget with something in a restless or nervous way. Laura fiddled with her cup synonyms: fidget, play, toy, twiddle, fuss, fool about/around; finger, thumb, handle; informal mess around/about he fiddled with a coaster =============================== Valsa, think not of it as a “Defeat”, but as a “Learning Experience”. And anything which causes “nakedness” (especially when it is “stark”) can NOT be ALL bad! Bri :) To MyPoemList and …appropriately, as the poem is dated 2013, slot #13 in Section B of October’s ‘a showcase for PH poets’ on my PH site. :) :)

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Akhtar Jawad 10 November 2014

We think great, we talk great but when the time of action comes we become blocked and silent and end like a bubble.

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