RoseAnn V. Shawiak (October 6,1950 / New Jersey)

Everywhere I look - everywhere I see - Mom is looking back at me.
Such a total part of my life is gone now.
There is no more reason for my being or doing anything.
I am my only reason now. It's lonely. I feel abandoned.
Even family can't fill this emptiness.
Will it ever end? Will the pain and sorrow always be this acute?
The knowing of her death sears my brain.
It awakens me all hours of the night.
For no reason I just start crying - then I realize I've been thinking of my Mom.
Will I ever have life again?
If so, it will always hold tears for Mom.
I think of all the happy things and times we talked and I cry because I miss them all now.
I can't slide thru life anymore - I have to pick each step carefully.
Life is short, we do our own thing and we die.
Only handfuls of people feel our passing, so I'll make sure they are good people.
People who give my death a reason for having lived.
Everywhere I look - everywhere I see - I am looking back at only me.