A New Diet Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

My once skinny hips - are now fat
My pants are far too tight
Now my stomach's not flat
Getting into my clothes is a fight

I bought a new book one day
Called ‘Fat Cheat’s Diet Book’
It said that fat just melts away
If you know which foods to cook

It said the way to lose the weight
Is to combine all similar groups
So then I made sure - that I ate
Pot Noodles and spaghetti hoops

Mars Bars together with Snickers
Lots of butter with cheese
Then one day my tight knickers
Fell right down past my fat knees!

I must be doing something right
For my drawers to fall down this way
That diet’s really working a treat
And I’d only been on it two days!

Tripping over pants on the deck
I rushed to the mirror to see
My reflection I just had to check
This wonderful svelte brand new me

My golden bubble then popped
My elation suddenly sapped
The reason those pants had dropped?
My knicker elastic had snapped!

copyright Victoria George