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Rachel Nichols

A Mermaid's Fantasy

a beautiful mermaid was lost in a silken fantasy of love
she played and swam in the ocean blue
she loved to float and flap her tail creating a big splash
floating farther and farther away from land
she dreamed of the prince who lives in a bejeweled castle
a most gorgeous prince who is in love with a princess
she is the princess of the sun who is most beautiful
to her dolphin friends the mermaid confessed
we are from two different worlds he and I, she cried
but still I am in love with him, only him
and she went splash, splash with her tail and swam away
exuberantly I will swim past the coral reef, she thought
I just wish to catch a glimpse of the prince, he is so fine
and he was there walking on the shore
the mermaid called, come with me love forevermore
yet the prince called to her and says no never can I
for I am in love with the princess of the sun
she is the one, she is the only one and my love is true!

Submitted: Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Edited: Wednesday, January 22, 2014

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  • Bronze Star - 5,293 Points Daniel Brick (5/18/2014 11:20:00 PM)

    This is a wonderfully crafted narrative poem. The storyline moves effortlessly forward but still takes the timer to observe the mermaid splashing the water with her tail, seeking the companionship and sympathy of dolphins, thinking about her attraction to the prince and not just surrendering to it. This story focuses on a non-human point of view, namely, the mermaid's. But if you shift the P of V to the prince, you have a human being framed by two mythic figures of opposite origin: the princess represents air, the sky, the heavenly world above. The mermaid, water, the ocean, the dark abyss below. WOW is he ever lucky to be courted by BOTH mythic realms.
    Having either one as his lover/consort will be an amazing, life-heightening experience. Can I volunteer? ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 398 Points Giorgio Veneto (5/3/2014 11:51:00 PM)

    This one I liked and enjoyed most. (A bejeweled piece) . It is genuinely beautiful, pure and attractive. Thank you for submitting your works. They are so lovely and sincere. :) G. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 14,444 Points John Westlake (3/23/2014 4:50:00 PM)

    So very beautiful. A love story you just wish it could have a happy ending. At least a 9. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,285 Points Geetha Jayakumar (1/28/2014 9:11:00 AM)

    Fantastic poem presented passionately. Like Valsa had said, it too carried me to a seashore and the Mermaid!
    Loved reading it. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,167 Points Valsa George (1/26/2014 12:50:00 AM)

    A very lucid description.... a beautiful web of romance spun...! Enjoyed the poem and specifically the line
    ........ she went splash, splash with her tail and swam away

    It has carried me to a seashore and the Mermaid!
    .... (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,597 Points Amitava Sur (1/22/2014 5:09:00 AM)

    A simple sweet love story with a pleasure to read. Reminds me of the of the sweet feeling in my childhood after reading a fairy tail..... very nice (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,035 Points Kanav Justa (1/21/2014 10:31:00 PM)

    this one is lovely too, , , its hard to say, , whic poem is morre beautiful, , this one or the previous, , good job, , , (Report) Reply

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