A Love Me? Poem by Lonnie Hicks

If my actions are blind to me
when others react
that reaction I take as blasphemy
unjustly given and a mystery.


If I am blind and not remember
when I kicked the dog
then the snarling dog
barking at me
seems totally unforeseen.


If often repeated
I apply doggie discipline
not seeing
that in each instance
my unremembered action of kicking the dog
is directly related to the dog
snarling at me.

If you are angry with me
and I fail to connect it to
what I just did
then I am truly blind
and can not see
that your anger
did not occur out of the blue
but came from the action
that came from me.

If this all applies to both of us
then anger reigns constantly.

So how to lament for love
when all I see, or all you see
is what each of us want
love to mean to each of us
ignoring
what love you have to give
and my own actions
which thwart the very love
I hope to receive.

So I concentrate
in talking with you
about what love means to me
therefore I am blind
to what love you need.
.
My blind eye
can only see
that you constantly deny me
the love I want
blinding me too to
the love you give.

You can't give a man food
who is hungry for love
and expect that food
will be Love's Fulfilling Metaphor.

You can't' expect that supporting your family
is Love's Fulfilling Activity
and a sufficient substitute.

The love we give indeed
must be love
not Love's Simplistic Acolytes.

You know I love you because
I work hard for you;
because I cook for you
because I care for the children for you
because I sacrifice for you
because I discipline the kids;

are all Love's
Poor Pale Subsitututes
and it's Frothy Placebos.

Love is not

the wedding ring
the pretty photo
the material things.

Love is its own mystery.

So, let's not ask
what is this Love:
ask instead
do you feel loved
by me?

That is Love's True Test
and, too,
more fulfilling.