A Little Stinker's Prayer Poem by Mimie Durand

God, I don’t want to start an argument
with you during prayer time tonight,
but why haven’t you taken
Uncle Frank?

He smells of tobacco
and slurps when he drinks
lets out gas at the table
and wets his pants I think.

He snores like a buzz saw
his breath smells like PU!
I’m so upset
I don’t know what to do.

Oh, while we’re at it God,
tell your butler, Saint Peter,
to tell my parents that I hate vegetables
especially spinach, but I love candy and pop
and all that goes with it.

And before I forget
please tell my parents
that I broke the window the other day
that it wasn’t my brother
and see what they say.

Please God
help me to think of a way to blame the dog
for breaking the vase
I’m sick and tired of taking the blame
Can’t keep up the pace.

I want to pray for my mother, father
and my brother too,
not for Uncle Frank though
I guess I’m through.