A Life Poem by Bob Blackwell

My early childhood years,
learning years, scary years,
fear of failure, fear of bullies,
some success, small delights.

My later childhood years,
school time, trying, doing well,
body changing, feelings came,
with them many longings,
to be, much older than I am.

My early grownup years,
leaving home, travel to
far off lands to work,
love, marriage, children,
many, many long goodbyes.

A longing to be home,
a loneliness, a feeling
that cripples, causes worry,
I sense I am not complete,
a concern, an anxiety that
does not go away.

Separation, and desperation,
stay until my middle years,
the craving, wanting ones,
my addictive time of life,
full of anger, full of strife.
full of wanting, full of shame.

A compulsive hurting ache,
wipes out my caring mind,
drives my family to a break,
alone, sad, frightened, and
unhappy I tried to end my life.

Still in middle years,
but tired of being tired,
losing hope, and in despair,
I reach the bottom of my life,
I then realize I need a miracle,
to help me change my ways.

A sober moment, a breath of air,
a precious lady, a start of love.
A new desire, I now had,
a motive to begin again,
to have a better life
and start a life anew.

With help of precious lady,
by talking to myself,
seeking help of others,
and wanting to be free;
I lost my thoughts, the
ten thousand rising things,
the worries, the despair,
the doubts, the problems,
I start to build a life with
that precious lady who
has now become my wife.

In my senior later years,
with time, I learned I had
a gift for other things,
through silence I began
to enjoy the present moments,
and learn to be content;
no crazy wants, no noisy thoughts,
no big hurrahs, no moans or groans.
I grew, I read, I wrote, I studied,
I became what I was meant to be,
a kind, cheerful, caring, happy man.