A Girl Named Fred
Once upon a time not many years ago
a girl named Fred fell in love with a boy named Fran.
Although the names seemed an odd combination
and could easily be confused by people who did not know
that Fred was a girl and Fran was a boy.
They made the perfect couple as everyone agreed
and when their wedding day arrived,
the priest who was standing in
did not know about the names
only that he was marrying a Fred to a Fran.
Turning to Fran he said,
Fred with you take this woman
to be your lawful wedded wife.
Excuse me Father, but I think that should be husband.
The priest looked up a bit dismayed, but just carried on.
Turning to Fred said Fran will you take this man
to be your lawful wedded husband.
Excuse me Father, but I think that should wife.
The priest’ eyes rolled around in his head
very dazed and confused.
The silent sniggers in the congregation began to grow louder
as peels of laughter not bells rang out within the church.
The poor priest was now in utter disarray
and after blessing the rings;
he handed them back the wrong way about.
Then the poor priest red faced said
to whomever I pronounce you man and wife.
Just to make things more riotous
someone switched the Wedding March
to Rock Around The Clock,
which sent the bride and groom bopping down the isle,
and the poor priest he had a nervous breakdown
saying he would never perform
a wedding ceremony again.
He would stick to funerals
as there was only one body involved
and they wouldn’t talk back to him.
David Harris's Other Poems
Read this poem in other languages
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
Comments about this poem (A Girl Named Fred by David Harris )
(1 February 1902 – 22 May 1967)
(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
(10 December 1830 – 15 May 1886)
(12 July 1904 – 23 September 1973)
(16 August 1920 – 9 March 1994)
Edgar Allan Poe
(19 January 1809 - 7 October 1849)
(28 November 1757 – 12 August 1827)
- Dreams, Langston Hughes
- 04 Tongues Made Of Glass, Shaun Shane
- As I Grew Older, Langston Hughes
- Mother to Son, Langston Hughes
- I Dream A World, Langston Hughes
- Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
- Let America be America Again, Langston Hughes
- I, Too, Langston Hughes
- Life Is Fine, Langston Hughes
- April Rain Song, Langston Hughes
Poem of the Day
- What A Breath, Chris Ajiduah
- Corruption, Randy McClave
- Our Destiny, Darian Kalamerd
- Yogi in the moon, Madrason writer
- Make a wish, daniel george
- Child, Samantha Cox
- Garden Ship, Leslie Philibert
- Empty, Samantha Cox
- Stars Pine for Your Ambrosian Words, Harindhar Reddy
- Snow A Sonnet, Kumarmani Mahakul