Jahan zaib

Rookie - 14 Points (February 05,1981 / Malakand Pakistan)

A day I wish


That day when my eyes open,
I rush for everything,
Finishing quickly,
Things disarranged,
Dress untidy,
Teeth un-brushed,
Shoes not sparkling,
Words going west,
When east can be best
Emotions unrest,
Looking every moment,
Nothing but the wall clock,
Thinking all the way,
Someone waiting,
Waiting with a red rose,
Smile on her cheeks,
In a garden of Lilies,
I arrive and sit next to you…

Submitted: Saturday, October 06, 2012
Edited: Friday, October 12, 2012

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  • Bronze Star - 5,656 Points Kishor Pathak (1/4/2013 2:42:00 PM)

    Wow! ...I finished it so quickly and it gave me an immense pleasure. I imagined myself doing all these stuffs, which of course is the beauty of poetry. Short compositions are toughest, but you did it so perfectly. Short, Precise and Magnetic composition. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 9 Points Banu Dai (12/16/2012 10:05:00 PM)

    very vivid Jahan Zaib..........u are a dreamer, lovely composition! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 9 Points Banu Dai (12/16/2012 10:05:00 PM)

    very vivid Jahan Zaib..........u are a dreamer, lovely composition! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 9 Points Priya Arora (12/7/2012 3:44:00 AM)

    Thinking all the way,
    Someone waiting,
    Waiting with a red rose,
    Smile on her cheeks,
    In a garden of Lilies,
    I arrive and sit next to you…


    Beautiful Imagination..and surely your way of experession too. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,890 Points * Sunprincess * (11/28/2012 8:51:00 AM)

    very much enjoyed this one
    it is best to go out every day prepared
    she may be the one girl you meet
    whom you would love to impress,
    make sure your teeth are sparkling
    she may give you a kiss.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 737 Points Stevie Taite (10/18/2012 10:28:00 AM)

    I sense the great excitement at just the mere thought of this day you so badly yearn for. Dont worry about anything but getting there, except maybe brush your teeth? You may regret forgetting that.; -0 Good write! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points John Brown (10/11/2012 12:50:00 PM)

    This is a good poem. I like the sense of haste in it, but who is jahanzeb in the last line? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 78 Points Payal Parande (10/6/2012 8:46:00 AM)

    oh! sir an incredible piece, the love is so delicate and heartwarming you just want to get to it as soon as possible and you don't want to be late....beautiful just absolutely beautiful but then again it is written by a person with beautiful heart

    thank you for sharing
    love
    payal (Report) Reply

Read all 12 comments »

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