Aftab Alam

Gold Star - 37,862 Points (15 th April 1967 / , , RANCHI,)

A Dark Shadow


I am suffering with heavy rain
Always cloud burst within, with pain
Which cave hid you grief
Tell me cavern in brief
My tears! My thought rill
My hope and despair playing,
Where is the labyrinth hill?
That exists within me,
A dark shadow
Walks on bright sun
Is this a life or fun?
The cyclone of thought
Uprooted gigantic trees
Grasses enjoying,
The challenges,
O! Formidable calm breeze.
Ease and ease, don't freeze

Submitted: Thursday, November 07, 2013
Edited: Saturday, September 20, 2014

Topic of this poem: sorrow


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Comments about this poem (A Dark Shadow by Aftab Alam )

  • Rookie - 21 Points Don Blumenthal (10/20/2014 6:54:00 PM)

    A bit jumpy because, I think, English is not the poets' first language.
    I lime the contrasts and imagery throughout that melds the vision of a
    Dream with the deep emotions involved while in the labyrinth especially
    Like...My hope and despair playing,
    Where is the labyrinth hill? ....
    All in all very effective depiction of sorrow working its way throughout the labyrinthine
    Courses of the mind's eye when in deepest sorrow transforming from grief. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,675 Points Wahab Abdul (11/9/2013 10:08:00 PM)

    a dark shadow walks on bright sun...lovely line...like it (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,667 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (11/7/2013 8:51:00 AM)

    Suffering with heavy rain is beautifully explained. Thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 27,319 Points Gajanan Mishra (11/7/2013 3:01:00 AM)

    your cyclone of thought, I like it. thanks. (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »

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