A Conference Room And Two Blondes. Poem by David DeSantis
A Conference Room And Two Blondes.
Death to the tailor who made this suit.
I think to myself,
while nervously shuffling plain white index cards.
For me,
My first presentation
And I feel like a line backer in undersized tights.
Oh well, at least you got a discount.
Hands on the podium,
Back arched high
Drops of perspiration,
Will they notice?
“So two blondes walk into an office…”
Always start with a joke, they say.
Nervous shuffling,
Two blondes in the audience.
Damn it,
Wrong joke,
Politically incorrect to make fun of blondes.
The room,
filled with
polite laughter,
followed by
Tempered applause.
Two blondes smile.
I smile back,
and wonder what they are doing later.
I wink,
Women love a guy at a podium.
“OTD must improve so PD can be reduced”
Think, Think, Think:
Did you memorize
your useless acronyms?
Check, atleast two mentioned.
“That’s why, I believe that by measuring this indicator we can improve OTD…”
Next- charts.
Point, Click, Graph, Plot,
and a wave of the remote for emphasis.
They like it,
Now seal the deal.
Remember,
when in doubt
use big words.
“By eradicating erroneous data we can properly alleviate customer concerns and increase throughput all while improving our ability to interface”
Do you even know what your saying?
Who cares, they do.
Damn,
blonde is cute.
I wonder what she’s wearing under the skirt,
if anything at all.
“And that’s why, I believe that OTD reduction is the way to a more prosperous, and efficient business cycle”.
Applause,
Better than polite,
and a
Smiling boss.
Home run buddy,
Congratulations:
You are now a corporate pig.
Copyright (c) David DeSantis
what a marvellous interpretation of casual joke. keep going pal
Love it David! You confirm what I've always suspected was going on! hahaha!
Ha ha ha.... that last line is classic! ! ! You must get your EBITDA worked out so your DSO is accurate and then we can analyse our COGS! ! ! (Or something! !) HG: -) xx
David, I HAD to come back to this one, it is my most FAVOURITE of yours! Just fantastic! The irony at the end blows you away but the whole piece could be a sketch in a comic show.... almost reminds me of 'The Office'! Love it, a blinder! HG: -) xx
Dude you have given expression to the situations that transpire and precipitate in perspiration! ! ! (its OTD if unintelligible)
Absolutely love this! Never trust a man with Powerpoint! BTW what was the joke? Fx
Love the irony in this light-hearted piece of self-deprecation. And the way you've constructed the poem - leaving space for the reader to make his/her own choices. The use of the 'blond' as a sort of poetic refrain works a treat. Clever versification. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
haha! fun one! I don't know that blonde joke, though -please share! -chuck
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/19/2024 10:23:48 AM # 1.0.0.1119
'You are now a corporate pig.' Hehehe :)))) Thumbs up! You are always observing -with a clinical, exacthe eye - the rooms, under the skirts, beyond the visible things, under the surface... I like this - i never know what follows. Very well and nice presentation by the way - always a joke - at the beginning and at the end.