A Clarification Pre-Departure Poem by Amanda Saveley

If I died tomorrow,
Would you still search for me?
Would you still scan the skies
Or look out onto the sea?
Would you wait for my call
Until the light of day?
Would you search in your mind
For something meaningful to say?
Would your eyes stay at the door
Patient, with the same concern?
Would you wait on baited breath
Though you know I won't return?

Or would you agonize over endearments
Left unspoken and unheard
Indulging in your grief
Over something simple like words
Would you comb over my things
Think of when last they were used
Would you build a shrine to me
Cling fast to guilt like the accused
Would you live encompassed with regret
Over things left just to waste
And panic when a simple thing
Happens to be misplaced?

If I should die tomorrow,
Look not for me in the sun
Nor land, nor dropp of water
Or in all things left undone
Do not search for me in any form
For I will not be there
Do not find fascination
In a single strand of hair
Nor simple piece of cloth
That once did belong to me
You should not waste your life
Nor should you share same fate as me
Release your tears into the air
And leave them out to mix with dew
Please, do not search for me,
I will be waiting there for you.