A Christmas Poesy Poem by Professor Plum

I poured myself
down the hallway
my hips

and flanks enticingly
swaying just like a drunk
Christmas tree with

awkward ornaments
flying off in all
directions (Clattering

and Shattering)
so shards are in
the carpet. I’m a

happy Christmas
shrub spinning
without a mouth

flexing my appendages
in only my tighty-whities
singing “Levon” and

“Nowhere Man”
and other carols out
of the window

just like Scrooge did it.