A Chapter Of Accidents Poem by Thomas Vaughan Jones

A Chapter Of Accidents

Rating: 4.3


I was looking in the gutter when I saw this little note,
So I picked it up and read it, and somebody had wrote;
'You'll never get to Heaven if you keep on looking down.'
So I straightened up my shoulders; then I gave a little frown.
For as I raised my head up to look into the sky,
A dirty little birdie dropped a hot-shot in my eye.
It stung; more than a little, but I struggled with my hurt
and I bravely kept on walking; then I stood in doggy dirt.
I slipped, and then I skidded, and I hit a rubbish bin.
I cried out for assistance, but alas, I still fell in,
and then a passing stranger, who had failed to see me skid
thought the place looked too untidy, and replaced the dustbin lid.

So……
I sat there in the debris, and I thought “ Now here’s a lark,
I’m cold and wet and dirty, and I’m sitting in the dark.”
I couldn’t get the lid off, but I bit my bottom lip,
as I huffed and puffed and struggled till I felt my trousers rip.
At last, distressed and thirsty, I just had to fall asleep,
and while I slept, the binmen took me to the refuse heap.
They thought I was a dummy, and they left me in a mess,
for they pinched my coat and trousers, and they caused me much distress.
Alone, so cold and naked, for all the world to mock.
I rummaged through the rubbish till I found this tatty frock
I hurried home for dinner, as the day was getting late,
but as I passed the school yard, I was stopped outside the gate.
The bobby, from a distance, for he didn’t like my stench,
said he thought I was a pervert, and he brought me to the bench.
'I know that I’ve been stupid, and I’ve looked above my station
But I really hope, Your Honour, you’ll accept my explanation.'

The Judge looked down upon me, and he said, “ A likely tale!
You’re a lecherous transvestite, and I’m sending you to jail.”

So I won’t be going upwards in a heavenly ascent
I’ll be going down to prison, for the Judge thinks I am bent.

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
One of those days when nothing goes right.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Thomas Vaughan Jones 06 February 2014

A belated Thank you for your comments. Hurray. I'm finally coming to grips with Windows 8.1

0 0 Reply
Adeline Foster 19 January 2014

Another good 'un. You do turn em out. I doubt I could top that. Adeline

1 0 Reply
Bhavna Singh 16 January 2014

very nice sir....................

1 0 Reply
Pradip Chattopadhyay 16 January 2014

very well done humor, a greatly enjoyable read!

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