A Change Of Fortune (From Rags To Riches) Poem by John Thorkild Ellison

A monster of depravity
Who never went to the lavatory
But got his trousers full of sh*t
And didn't care one little bit
Decided one day to come clean,
Admitting that it was obscene
To reek of excrement and p*ss.
He said, 'I can't go on like this,
It's driving folk right round the bend
And I haven't got a single friend!
I'm going to reform my life
And get a job and find a wife -
In a year or two you'll be surprised
I'm not the tramp whom you despised,
I'm sitting in my easy-chair
Well-dressed and very debonair,
The chap you thought was oh so smelly
Relaxing in front of his colour telly!
Surprising, isn't it? Most bizarre!
Here I sit smoking my cigar.
Oh, sorry! Meet my partner, she's
Scandinavian and designed to please.
I suppose you think you're out of luck?
I'm sorry, I don't give a f*ck! !
I know you think it's most unfair
But I've become a millionaire! ! ! '