32 And A Half
32 and a half hours now have passed,
since I woke up from my last sleep,
I feel so tired but I fear the crash.
A rollercoaster of emotion in that time.
A great big up to start the night it lasted through about the noon.
Then slowly coasting down,
not so much into sadness but allowing a melancholy I'd been blocking.
Through the night with peaks and valleys.
Though most profoundly a gaping hole inside my chest,
aching so fierce and screaming in protest,
to all the emotions and feelings I hold and cannot share with all the rest.
32 and a half hours I'm about to rest my head.
I fear the sleep though and all that follows I so deeply dread.
The nightmares of so many colors,
involving so many monsters my minds created,
rather it be a creature, person,
or my profoundly deepest fear to be abandoned.
Having those I love just there in my sight and in my reach,
then I turn around and they're all gone I'm left alone.
Attacked by enemies weak and defenseless in those dreams,
The creepy crawlies invade my space and up my skin.
32 and a half hours quickly approaching 33.
That bit of lonely sadness has taken its grip upon me.
So maybe sleep is the best advantage I have to rest and beat it,
let it go.
Perhaps someone of spiritual guidance and solid strength can help prop me up and give me some peace some way.
32 and a half hours of straight wakefulness.
It's time I face the fear of sleep and get some sleep.
For my body is on the verge of giving out and near collapsing.
I just have to face my demons in the world of wakeful sleeping.
But worst of all lies in the fact of truth I truly have no doubt,
that when I finally wake I'll be in pain so bad.
Physically excruciating yes it's true,
even more so though I know my heart and soul
will have no hope and cheer to spare,
I'll be tapped out and in the most desolate emotional dungeons
like the worst of ancient Rome.
And of these things I will not share.
For I alone they are my cross to bare.
Michael McParland's Other Poems
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Comments about this poem (32 And A Half by Michael McParland )
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