'2010/06/08 Damasio* Damaged Poem by Margaret Alice

Mental cramp, when deciding, all muscles
tense, sharp pain shooting through my head
burning in my ears, suffocating slowly, forcing
me to stop, become catatonic, I need another
personality to lead my life, my current ego
is Damasio* damaged, cannot function

When life became too painful, Eileen Garret* fell
asleep, I think I could sleep a hundred years, I
need another shock to wake another personality to
live my life since the me sitting here cannot work
at all, every thought painful, every moment filled
with fear, pain like lightning in my head

I’m on the brink of tears, now how to let a strong
alter ego take my place, without help, nothing gets
done, falling deeper down the Rabbit Hole*, spinning
faster within the Abyss, the deep, ice-cold, pitch-
black hole of Nothingness…


*Dr Damasio described how an iron rod penetrated
Phineas Gage’s brain and he lost the ability to make
decisions as he could not determine priorities, his
emotional intelligence quotient was irrevocably injured

*Eileen Garret – Irish medium who discovered she could
escape severe physical punishment by falling asleep

*Rabbit Hole – Now almost a universal symbol for the
experience of losing control and finding a strange world
full of unexpected events, originally created by Lewis
Carrol in “Alice in Wonderland”