10 Ways To Improve Your Government (Wherever!) Poem by Margaret Kollmer

1. I’d insist on everyones’ feet being de-corned free of charge. Corns and bunions prevent people from thinking on their feet. (Oh, so that’s why …)

2. I’d make the song “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble, ” the national anthem.

3. I’d put all the fat cats on Weigh Less.

4. I’d teach all people in authority, not to slouch when Parly is in session and to sit up straight when being interviewed on TV.

5. Likewise, I’d put an end to men walking around with their hands in their pockets. They’re men, not hobbits, for Golum’s sake.

6. I’d put more cargo trains on the line, so to speak. Don’t talk about trucks and trucking.

7. I’d send all townhouse complex trustees to Siberia from whence they could pen their silly little letters to penguin transit camps.

8. I’d decree that once a week oestragen was put into beer and brandy to ameliorate male aggression. But not in whisky. Whisky drinkers are gentlemen.

9. I’d blow up all call centres throughout the land. Finish and klaar!

10. I’d nominate a smile day at least once a month or fines will be handed out by imaginary traffic cops. (What other kind are there?)