Lisa French

Suicide, suicide
Your presence is near
Suicide, suicide
I wish you were here
...

What a beautiful suicide
The night skies so dark
The stars shine brightly
Tonight I’ll make a mark
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A reason to smile
Is that it looks better than a frown
It makes you feel happy
With no sense of feeling down
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My heart is bleeding my eyes are crying
Inside I almost feel like i'm dying
There are scars that just won't fade
But the tears that I cry can wash away
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The night I tried to kill myself
Was like a scary dream
A knife held to my neck
No one heard me scream
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I walk this empty world
All alone
I don’t wish for many others
I’m on my own
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Dear Mother and Father
As you read this I want you to know
None of this is your fault
As I love you both so
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I sit here by myself, thinking of suicide
I look at a knife, wanting to commit suicide
I look at a photo, hating my life
Telling myself, suicide stops the pain
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Who is a true me do I really know
Is it the person I am or the person I show
Is it someone I want to be or someone i'm not
I'm not to sure have I forgot
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I sit in my room with the door shut tight
All I hear is fighting it's just not right

I sit here in tears as I hear glass smashing
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Everyone has secrets, they don't wish to tell
Some are really painful, that make you feel unwell

We chose to discard, them to lock them away
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You tell me you care but I don’t believe it
There’s no reason you would please just admit it
You don’t care what I’m going through
Just please back off I don’t need you
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As long as forever I'll stay by your side
I'll be your compainion your friend your guide
We'll go through life together through the bad and the good
I'll always be with like a good friend always should
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My superman is strong and brave
He’s always there when I need to be saved
My superman is friendly and tall
He’s always saving my world and never does he fall
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A smack on my face a slit on my wrists
When everyday ends I feel like this
I'm sick of my heart leaving me defending
It leads me to places where there is no happy ending
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I'm tired of being the girl
Who's always left out
I'm sick of being the one
Who's always put down
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I’m covered in scars
That were once cuts
There are new and old ones
Some as deep as my gut
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I've been through fire i've walked through rain
Nothing i've tried has got rid of this pain
What is it I feel i'm not to sure
It's hard to explain it's hard to ignore
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There is a girl
Who sits alone
She never talks
As she’s on her own
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Everyday I wake to the same place
I look in the mirror and see the same face
I do the same routine as I do any other day
Nothing has changed I can easily say
...