lingering stupor

Fade in black the first past now gone
Blocked in hate and disgust ways we now go alone
My inner self thought stronger than hers
No feeling she felt as if riding in a hearse
...

Run silent run deep
Let the bulkheads creak
Even when you are passing
No one must know your waking
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A mind takes flight on open wings
Where birds are free and angel sings
This is where my freedom goes
An air so open nothing not even woes
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I run and hide from all that knew me
To erase a past that fate never meant to be
How cruel am i to feel this much torment
Daily thoughts that makes me lament
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As i awake to another light
Eyes still weary to futures bright
Answers though i try to find
Its not the same questions in my mind
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Losing someone precious is most terrifying
You not only lose them but you lose everything
Life can be unfair at times when unexpected
But can give life when also least expected
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Tire now i feel at the end of dawn
My labor halved and sorrow gone
A wonderful evening to be had
Met you so much am glad
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Despair and pain i felt these passing days
A weight so overwhelming its broken me in ways
A normal man could take his own to ease the pain
But am not with the norm and death is no gain
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An odd pair
One is happy
The other despair
Together they buddy
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Listening to the wind
Sitting just watching your words
From the first to the last words seen
Music to my mind like chords
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What is it that makes me smile
Even though the road is farther than a mile

What is it that makes me laugh
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Hast another bell chimes on the eve
Preparations dawn for all who believe
Lest a few who stay behind
Looking back for what they find
...