Kaitlin Schmidt

Standing still, feet planted
Body frozen, mind racing
Fear takes over
Like another entity
...

The confidence I spent years belittling down
To nothing somehow regained its strength.
The insecurities I let dictate my happiness I now see
Not as imperfections, but perfections that make me me.
...

Tears fall, they just won't end
It seems my aching heart will never mend.
Any joy inside quickly dies
As I realize soon you will depart from my side.
...

The imaginary power takes over the world, and the people in it.
Making minute things important, and important things unnecessary.
And so the world turns.
...

I want to believe I don't just take up space
I want to know that who they see is not a random face
I want to know I have a purpose
I want to show there is more to me than what is on the surface
...

Drowning breathlessly never ending
Pounding vacancies with no guarantee
A gentle fatality has sweet design
Innocently separating with only a graceful tear
...

My realization has just now begun
My life's not about what can't be undone
But trying to change the future beginning now
And figuring out what my purpose is about
...

She sits all alone. She has so much to say but she doesn't.
She has sat in that corner all alone her whole life
Watching others carry on with their lives.
She watches as each person's emotions change.
...

...

It always makes its way
Back into my mind
As if leaving is straying
And it must be mine
...

The coldness remains outside
As you are cared for in the warmth of the shelter.
The cold wind blows along with the insecurities of life,
Reaching the corners of the world.
...

Your eyes are heavy
Your body is weak
Your thoughts are slow
And words you can not speak
...

I fight upstream just to stay afloat
Agony and exhaustion come with each stroke.
Many times I find myself questioning
And the temptation to give up clearly beckoning.
...

My smile never real
Just an easy way to conceal
The me underneath
Many emotions I feel
...

One thing seems certain
Trust doesn't last long in each person.
It comes and goes depending on fit,
It is only used when there's a benefit
...

Is there a possible way to cope?
My abandoned heart only unfolds
The secrets of my mind never fail to end
Taking me back time and time again
...

If I could trade my yesterday
Would I be standing here today
With nothing to hold to my name
And nothing inside but lonely shame
...

An intense magnitude
Cautious heart of potential
Doubtfully escaping secrets
Dream longingly as if all exists
...

I look out and see all the broken hearts
All the scattered dreams and confused minds
Believing nothing could fix their broken parts
Forgiveness and true peace they cannot find
...

It's only natural to travel at ninety miles an hour
but with the sound of
"she died, " on the other line
the light turned off.
...