Jocelyn Henry Clive 'Harry' Graham (23 December 1874 – 30 October 1936) was an English writer. He was a successful journalist and later, after distinguished military service, a leading lyricist for operettas and musical comedies, but he is now best remembered as a writer of humorous verse in the tradition of grotesquerie and black humour exemplified by the verses of W. S. Gilbert and Hilaire ... more »
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Harry Graham Poems
When Grandmamma fell off the boat, And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float, Maria just sat by and smiled -
'There's been an accident!' they said, 'Your servant's cut in half; he's dead.' 'Indeed!' said Mr Jones, 'and please
Weep not for little Leonie, Abducted by a French Marquis! Though loss of honour was a wrench, Just think how it's improved her French.
That morning, when my wife eloped With James, our chauffeur, how I moped! What tragedies in life there are! I'm dashed if I can start the car.
Don'T Buy A Pig In A Poke
Unscrupulous pigmongers will Attempt to wheedle and to coax
When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff.
Learn To Take Things Easily
To these few words, it seems to me, A wealth of sound instruction clings; O Learn to Take things easily -- Espeshly Other People's Things;
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
I never understood, I own, What anybody (with a soul) Could mean by offering a Stone This needless warning not to Roll;
Uncle, whose inventive brains kept evolving aeroplanes, fell from an enormous height upon my garden lawn last night.
Enough Is As Good As A Feast
What is Enough? An idle dream! One cannot have enough, I swear, Of Ices or Meringues-and-Cream, Nougat or Chocolate Eclairs,
Untitled ( From The World We Laugh In)
Though many men have made their mark By rising daily with the lark, 'Tis not a plan I recommend ; The practice no one can defend.
Nurse, who peppered baby's face (She mistook it for a muffin), Held her tongue and kept her place, 'Laying low and sayin' nuffin'';
My children, you should imitate The harmless, necessary cat, Who eats whatever's on his plate,
The Stern Parent
Father heard his Children scream, So he threw them in the stream, Saying, as he drowned the third, 'Children should be seen, not heard!'
Quotationsmore quotations »
''Weep not for little Leonie, Abducted by a French Marquis! Though loss of honour was a wrench, Just think how it's improved her French.''Harry Graham (1874-1936), British author, rhymester. "Compensation," More Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Hommes (1930).
''I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.''Harry Graham (1874-1936), poet ("COL. D. STREAMER"). Some Ruthless Rhymes (l. 7-8). . . Norton Book of Light Verse, The. Russell Baker, ed. (1986)...
Comments about Harry Graham
When Grandmamma fell off the boat,
And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float,
Maria just sat by and smiled -
I almost could have slapped the child!