Jocelyn Henry Clive 'Harry' Graham (23 December 1874 – 30 October 1936) was an English writer. He was a successful journalist and later, after distinguished military service, a leading lyricist for operettas and musical comedies, but he is now best remembered as a writer of humorous verse in the tradition of grotesquerie and black humour exemplified by the verses of W. S. Gilbert and Hilaire ... more »
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Harry Graham Poems
Weep not for little Leonie, Abducted by a French Marquis! Though loss of honour was a wrench, Just think how it's improved her French.
When Grandmamma fell off the boat, And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float, Maria just sat by and smiled -
'There's been an accident!' they said, 'Your servant's cut in half; he's dead.' 'Indeed!' said Mr Jones, 'and please
O'er the rugged mountain's brow Clara threw the twins she nursed, And remarked, 'I wonder now Which will reach the bottom first?'
Nurse, who peppered baby's face (She mistook it for a muffin), Held her tongue and kept her place, 'Laying low and sayin' nuffin'';
My children, you should imitate The harmless, necessary cat, Who eats whatever's on his plate,
When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff.
An angle bore dear Uncle Joe To rest beyond the stars. I miss him, oh! I miss him so, -- He had such good cigars.
Enough is as Good as a Feast
What is Enough? An idle dream! One cannot have enough, I swear, Of Ices or Meringues-and-Cream, Nougat or Chocolate Eclairs,
Sam has spirits naught could check, And to-day, at breakfast, he Broke his baby sister's neck, So he shan't have jam for tea!
In the drinking-well (Which the plumber built her) Aunt Eliza fell, -- We must buy a filter.
Don't Buy a Pig in a Poke
Unscrupulous pigmongers will Attempt to wheedle and to coax
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
I never understood, I own, What anybody (with a soul) Could mean by offering a Stone This needless warning not to Roll;
Billy, in one of his nice new sashes, Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes; Now, although the room grows chilly,
Quotationsmore quotations »
''Weep not for little Leonie, Abducted by a French Marquis! Though loss of honour was a wrench, Just think how it's improved her French.''Harry Graham (1874-1936), British author, rhymester. "Compensation," More Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Hommes (1930).
''I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.''Harry Graham (1874-1936), poet ("COL. D. STREAMER"). Some Ruthless Rhymes (l. 7-8). . . Norton Book of Light Verse, The. Russell Baker, ed. (1986)...
Comments about Harry Graham
(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
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(26 April 1564 - 23 April 1616)
(12 July 1904 – 23 September 1973)
Edgar Allan Poe
(19 January 1809 - 7 October 1849)
(1 February 1902 – 22 May 1967)
(31 May 1819 - 26 March 1892)
(31 October 1795 – 23 February 1821)
Weep not for little Leonie,
Abducted by a French Marquis!
Though loss of honour was a wrench,
Just think how it's improved her French.