gordon nosworthy

gordon nosworthy Poems

I remember zocko chico
but I don’t know why
I remember dusty little towns
in mexico
...

2.

i don't believe in souls but if i did i would believe
creatures killed in order for others to survive are born with souls
&die without them
...

i dont want to make sense
of the mirage
dissolving around me with such power
...

i do love my children
i do love my wife
i am reminded of a little wisdom
gained from struggle and from life
...

and if i sing you are my voice
e.e. cummings

sorry e.e.
...

this all makes no sense
you knew that
didn't you
but still you call me on the cell
...

i smell death in the dust
on the mountain in my heart

for years i hid behind excuses
...

i crave something
that is not particularly there
an old probable polar bear
once declared
...

to stop ice fishing
is not about holes &polar bears
neither actually exist
this is about a consciousness
...

the old woman sat in a chair
wheels down for potential escape
a shawl wrapped around her frail shoulders
elbows firmly planted on the padded rests
...

deep in the woods
where silent eagles float
snow mounds round the windows
masses against the front steps
...

maria, listen to my bones
they whisper messages to you
secrets I wasn't supposed to overhear
booby traps for an unwary heart
...

we begin at the beginning
where most things sprout
there is no music yet
it might never come
...

so if our cortices lack the muscle
to mine what life is all about
then why are we still out in the back yard
digging up the garden
...

lick your lips to moisten the reed
clear the spit valve
inhale long and deep
feel the chest bones stretch
...

17.

tomato soup tomato soup tomato
i have no message i have no tomato soup music
i have music more to the point music has me
i enjoy jazz i don't understand jazz
...

and in the end the clown smiled
because that's all the clown knew to do
twist blown up balloons
into odd animal shapes
...

we live by the assumptions
located in that wiggling mass of suppositions
we recognize easily as consciousness
and which we worship even more than gods
...

i am no longer who i am
a dislocation explained
only as a rationalization of being human
...

The Best Poem Of gordon nosworthy

Zocko Chico

I remember zocko chico
but I don’t know why
I remember dusty little towns
in mexico
but I don’t know why
I remember children in cardboard houses
& I do know why
I remember laying down
but I don’t know why
getting up has become increasingly difficult
& I don’t know why

I remember train rides
through mountain passes layered in snow
I remember riding on camels
Eating rat that tastes like chicken
I remember knives and gangplanks to riches
I remember prayers and hope and faith
I remember when I longed for the invisible
& I don’t know why
I remember when I was thin
but I don’t remember when
I remember when glass
hung from storefronts
not from my eyes
I remember betty
I can’t remember why

I remember being young
it was a long time ago
I don’t remember getting old
it happened quite unexpectedly
I remember when I could run
I felt strong
I remember when I cared
but I don’t remember why

I remember when life
was a bull in my veins
I remember when autumn
made me happy rather than sneeze
I remember when I could eat
& never gain weight
I remember when I could party all night
& still remember my name in the morning
I remember the approaching train
With a strange fascination
But not what happened next
I remember when I could touch other people
without feeling violated
I remember I trusted
the altruism of ideas
I remember when I believed
all the wonderful ideas now dead
I remember trying to show the world
how good I was at living

I remember the day
when status was important
because it made me important
& being important meant something
I remember that no one ever explained
why being important was important
I remember never questioning why
gold and diamonds have great value
while human life has value on paper
but means little in refugee camps
market economics and killing fields

I remember when all this breathing
struggling surviving procreating existing
had some higher purpose
which could never be explained
but which were gospel in higher circles
away from the bones and abandoned children
away from the inequities of human self-importance
away from salving self-soothing stories of life hereafter

I remember when I compared life
to dancing and music and singing
I remember the moment I saw children
scrambling for leftover food
I remember when dancing became scrambling
singing became hunger cries
I remember the music remained
it was no longer joyous
I remember I remember I remember
because even if I wanted to
how could I forget

I remember when I believed
people were holy
I remember when I believed
thought could transform humanity
I remember the holy men
I wanted to follow
I remember following them to the edge
I remember being disappointed
because the holy men weren’t holy
they were simply men with dreams of grandeur

I remember when I believed humanity
held a special place in the universe
I remember the idea that all people were equal
I can’t recall why that idea never seemed real
I remember adolescence
it was all that long ago
I remember the day
when I could no longer remember
what it was like to remember innocence
to shut my eyes with hope

I remember when helping the poor
Was charity rather than penance
I remember when the good things in life
Somehow managed to counterbalance
The evil unfolding petal-like around me
I remember when individual grace
Seemed to hold the promise of redemption
I remember when sunrises and sunsets
Proved the existence of a higher power
Rather than just another swing
Of a planet around a molten furnace
Which we will simply never understand
Through anything other than pretence

I remember the smiles of my children
as they burped and passed gas
experienced santa or the easter bunny
made toys from scraps
held my hand as if I could protect them
or ran up and down the halls
shouting and screaming
as life poured from their pores
sang from their eyes
sprang from their hearts
& I remember how that memory
gives me the hope that my memory is defective
& the mirror I use to see
contains a flaw of utmost beauty

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