George Tally

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L'orangerie

On snowy night
I look back at my cottage
Strange it seems with warm windows
All covered in snow as it snows still
I can't recall when last I was in it
And people within whom I can't recall

How long have I been here
The vision's extraordinary
The house much smaller outside than in
I see it whole
Those inside but parts
And even their light reduces their view
In clear air I see them house and field

I am in the field
Midst spare birch grove
The firs further off
Into the night.
It's the open that calls,
Not past comfortable cells

The woods rustle
Static and soundless.
I sense silent music
Ghostly bamboo breathe
On soul's shinobue
And I feel awareness alter

Though it's lonely out here,
The view mystically calls
The outward beckons,
The night allures,
Dark
Like a womb,
Awaiting a breach,
Or return

In cold and dark and muting snow
I feel throned in the largest room ever
I think I could love being here
See black as blue
And snow a warm coat

I'm forgetting already the fiery room
That bore me so long ago
My new home with no walls
Nor ceiling, nor even a floor
For ‘neath the snow my feet fade
As if from being
Not flesh but spirit

But I'm here and it's odd
What is that knowing
If I don't know where's here

To grasp the dilemma
I start first with the kernel
And from there see clearly
There's no more nor other

Knowing my body ends not
In skin
In coat
In breath warmed air ‘round
‘T'is more a field
A part of all
And not a point apart
* * * *
On snowy ground
Cross snowy yard
‘Neath firs' snowy eaves
Espy
Orange lit creatures
Like me?

No sound yet suggestion
And tiny motion
Distant shadows
With lights interplay
Hinting I join them
And willing I may

On my way over
Way over I plod
Kicking black whiteness
Of ice and of clod,

Further and further it seems
As if I first saw it in dreams,
Then swelled in mind's eye
As if there already
But not
I'm yet far
So set my resolve

Onward and onward
In night's speckled brace
My heart and my mind
And my soul do race

But not feet for tis dark
And stumbling is dangerous
‘T'was how I discovered
My present position
And course
And decision

But stumbling's my friend
Guide and companion
Nor can I be lost
For lost is my home

I peek reconnoiter
And see them still there
Surreally orange
And silent but live

Wee motions and yet
No sound to match
And I wonder,
If it's faeries I watch

For sure I feel drawn
But spirits are perilous
Here where I am
They are too numerous

Not off the Earth dead
Nor of it
Between mind and matter
I tread

Snow starts again
Though I think it is gentle
As has been providing
My carpet my coat
In this time place and state
Neither cold nor ice
Takes me to focus on small things

The light, that light
Draws me forward
As if faeries though
Could be any old
Ember or glow

A warm promise
Though heat's not needed
A fellow to meet
To stir air with voices
That I've missed

I don't recall speaking before
I'm withheld from it now
The night's grace
Not to offend
Ah well I've my task
And make my way forward

My body's forgotten
Maybe not even here
But feet know a way
Eye guides on brain's course
Intervals my mind wanders
Recurring missteps befall
That wee flickering orange
Holds me in thrall

Wee focus it takes
This path rolly yet level
Wee effort suffices
To give sense of progress
While yet I can't tell
I can't tell
I don't tell
Nor care especially
* * * *
Dim snow pyramids
Topped boots' toes
With each step knocked over
And new ones arose
Streaks in grey powder
Marked my passing
From where
There's no recollecting
I care not about it
Except obscure worry
Something forgotten
May yet make me hurry

But soft white grey black
With orange fleck to compel
Muting fear and all senses
Enlist me with subtle tact

What fear there might be
Is unborn
To mind's strange half-life
This world without bounds
Its ways unpathed

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