There was a young girl from Butte
Who was exceedingly cute.
—She lured all the boys
—Away from their toys
...
There was a young girl from Baltimore
Who said that she didn't know the score.
—Though I thought I might rue it
—I showed her how to do it
...
One day as I was reading a mystery by Alafair Burke,
I dozed off, the phone rang, and I awoke with a jerk.
It was my Grandson, Chris, who gave me a greeting
And asked if tomorrow we might have a meeting.
...
Woke up this morning at the crack of my back,
Knew it was awfully early to get out of the sack.
Tried to doze back but it was no use,
The clock was reading oh four oh and a deuce.
...
There once was a gal with no brain
Who wouldn't come in outta the rain.
What with rent, death, and taxing,
It wasn't relaxing
...
Here I sit
Alone and lonely
Thinking of
My one and only.
...
There once a pair named Jack and Jill
And together they went up a hill.
—Presumably to get some whisky
—But then then started getting frisky.
...
There was a fat lady from Rigga
Who wouldn’t take care of her figga.
She sure was a fright,
As she gorged day and night.
...
There was a young woman lived in a shoe
Had so many children she didn’t know what to do.
So I showed her how to score
Without making any more.
...
Lady with rose No.2
Lying there all in plain view.
The red of your roses
And your pink areolas
...