George Hunter Poems

There was a cute gal from near here
Who could always get a free beer
When she jiggled her jugs
The guys all went bugs
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There was a young miss from Tulare
Whose countenance was very hairy.
She had so many zits
It near gave me fits.
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East of the sun and west of the moon
With everything in the middle.
With planets and stars and asteroids
And even a cat with a fiddle.
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There was an old woman,
She lived in a sandle.
Had more bread-grabbers
Than she could handle.
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Most of the old adages that
We fools are fond of repeating
Are a bunch of hooey.
For example:
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On the twenty-seventh of September in two oh oh eight
I made up my mind to tempt my fate.
I had a chance to go, if I flew
To Wash. D.C. with a World War crew.
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I once knew a girl named Joan
And one day she threw me a bone.
She was pretty and fair
And had long blonde hair.
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Holey, Moley! What did I just see?
Christ on a skateboard on the Zuider Zee.
Surfing along on top of the sea,
Saving our souls for etern-i-tee
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Just why in hell do I have to ‘Press 1' for English?
Why?
Isn't this the land of Mom, Baseball,
And Apple Pie?
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It sure is hot, one-hundred and five.
I feel like I'm being roasted alive.
And that's in the shade, o-kay
Best stay outta the shade today.
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