Treasure Island

Critiques and Revision

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  • Gjc Brisso (9/29/2012 10:24:00 AM) Post reply

    hi poets if anyone has the time to read some of my pieces that would be great thanking you Gjc Boyle

  • Titto Mutny (9/27/2012 8:16:00 AM) Post reply

    Hi poets, ,
    Wd lyk to hear your views on


  • $arah Pillai Rookie - 1st Stage (9/27/2012 3:56:00 AM) Post reply

    Hi Daniel,

    Would like to know what you think:

    Thanks! ^_^

  • Daniel Einstein Rookie - 1st Stage (9/26/2012 6:17:00 PM) Post reply

    Here I am again guys, just wanted to let you know, I am back on duty, feel free to send me at least two of your
    Favorite poems that you have written and I will accordingly rate them and comment on them to the best of my ability.
    Have a great day.

  • Makayla Johnson Rookie - 1st Stage (9/25/2012 4:04:00 PM) Post reply

    Hey, all....
    Well, I'm pretty new here and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me some critiques on my work. Please be honest, a string of good reviews is always nice to see, but is in no way helpful. Don't be afraid to criticize me, I'd love to see how I can improve. My poems can get a bit dark at times though not gruesome or anything like that. I tend to write about the mind a lot. Madness, hallucinations, mental torment, things like that. I only have a few poems up right now but I will be posting a lot more soon. I'd love if someone could give me a few critiques on the ones I have up now. I'd love to know what you think of my writing.

    Thank you for your time.

  • Ruby Honeytip Rookie - 1st Stage (9/24/2012 3:38:00 PM) Post reply

    Like a Boss
    She wants to watch the base of his throat as he throws his head back to laugh
    She wants to smell the ocean through the pine trees and hear her own soft whimper as he bends to kiss her.
    She wants to feel him whisper sweet, crazy words close to her ear and delight in the hidden shivers he brings to the depths of her
    She wants to feel the heat from his hand burn her thigh
    She wants to pull his sweet breath into her chest and hold it until she knows it has travelled to the centre of her.
    She wants permission to stand close...very close
    Can he tell that his name starts deep inside her and rings and rings and rings?.......
    Then she opens her eyes and, ever ladylike, crosses her legs, hands folded over her knees, as the world comes back to focus
    She wonders if this too shall pass
    So she can get back to work!  
    Ruby Honeytip

  • inro Lavil Rookie - 1st Stage (9/22/2012 7:07:00 AM) Post reply

    Please critique my poem " The Time Speaks"

    Thank you.

  • Lily Phelps Rookie - 1st Stage (9/20/2012 9:20:00 PM) Post reply

    Hi everyone. Um, I don't exactly just want a comment. I would like come critique on my poetry. I've been told my poems are very good and very deep and emotional, and I can maybe understand how they can hit home, but I just don't think they're as good as people say they are. I would like some suggestions for improvement, if possible. I'll do the same for you guys, if you like. Just message me and send me names of the poem or what not.

    Thank you in advance...~

  • Daniel Einstein Rookie - 1st Stage (9/19/2012 8:25:00 PM) Post reply

    Hello there guys and gals, Well, i am not looking for people to comment on my Poems, no sir, i would like for all of you out there to Give me your name and Favorite poems, and i will Comment and like them depends on their awesomeness, Don't be afraid and Message me your Favorite poems, Good day.

  • Black On Black Arts Rookie - 1st Stage (9/19/2012 1:38:00 PM) Post reply

    hello readers i would like very much if you go to my page read rate and give me your opinion on my poetry thank you

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