Critiques and Revision

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  • Zach Bobrowski (11/18/2012 7:56:00 PM) Post reply

    love is a trinket
    a bobble head that sits on your dash
    and smiles at you in traffic
    a charm on a chain that is more heavy
    then the metal its made of
    it is inexorably mundane
    an item lost in the cracks of minutia
    the clutter of oblivion
    it is the useless totem that you lose and forget
    and when it finds you
    you can remember who gave it to you
    or what it ever did for you in the first place
    and so you surrender it to the grasp of the abyss
    and affection turns to apathy
    and the bobble head and the charm
    are left to bear it all
    and conjecture there own existence

  • Godfrey Morris (11/17/2012 10:47:00 AM) Post reply

    Silent Soul

    I am a poet
    silently hidden in life's closet
    with half-measured expressions
    seeking to be made whole
    secret imagination longing
    to be bold
    I am the wind
    that echoes in your head
    I am your reason
    your silent unknown

    copyright(c) 2012

  • Rebecca Dalmaso (11/14/2012 5:35:00 AM) Post reply

    hey guys hoping to get some honest opinions on my poems will be sure to read and comment on your poems in return xx

  • April Swan (my Diary Of Bitterweet Chocolate) (11/13/2012 3:13:00 PM) Post reply

    I need some critisism on some of my poems,
    nunn of none
    Rage monster
    The bottle of no pain

    I would feel better with some critism. Please help. Thanks! :)

  • Vikrant Jog (11/13/2012 8:09:00 AM) Post reply

    Hello all,
    I wish to improve my poems more... It has been while but please commenting with your precious advice...
    Thank You....

  • Aditya Mudbhary (11/13/2012 2:06:00 AM) Post reply

    Hello all,
    I have been in poem hunter for quite some time and now after some success here in poem hunter, I wish for all those critiques to have a read and comment for I wish to know what each of you think. Thank you and have a great day.


  • Toheeb Tiamiyu (11/10/2012 3:21:00 AM) Post reply

    Hello fellow poet, I humbly invite you to read my poems and leave a comment about them, would love more criticism dan praise.... And don't forget to vote... Thanks

  • Matthew Wilkinson Luck (11/9/2012 7:35:00 AM) Post reply

    To any and all who view this

    I'm new to Poemhunter and new to the concept of sharing my poetry at all.
    I would appreciate it if you viewed my poem " Teetering on the Edge" , or any of my other poems for that matter, if you could leave constructive criticism that would be

    So thanks in advance

  • Leonardo David Tay (11/9/2012 2:47:00 AM) Post reply

    Hey guys, I just posted a poem called, " If You May..." I would love to hear some opinions, either bad or good, I just want to improve. Thanks.

  • Søren Valentine (11/1/2012 11:13:00 PM) Post reply

    I would love for you guys to read my new poem
    The Unraveling

    and my poems entitled " Fallen Raven" and " Autumnal Love"

    Thanks in advance for your time!

    P.S. If you leave comments (which I hope you do, I want to get different opinions on my poetry) PLEASE be completely honest. If you didn't like it, tell me!
    That's why I want different opinions :)

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