Teen Poetry and Discussions
(12/19/2013 12:14:00 AM)
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And just because I find this addicting, here's another poem I wrote. Inspired by Wuthering Heights actually! " Even Though The Sun Wasn't Out" .
I saw two wild hearts in the heather.
Running, they flew through the grass;
Dancing, they climbed the shores and cliffs
To a sea as calm as glass.
They splashed in the miniature oceans
Made by heaven’s spout.
They bathed in sunlight at night time
Even though the sun wasn’t out.
Even though the sun wasn’t out
And the air was wet with dew
They could see nothing but light and beauty
In the fantasy land they called true.
They could see nothing but paradise
In the windy and dreary day.
They could see nothing but sunlight
Even though the sun had gone away.
Their world was tenuously quiet
A web vibrating in the breath of the wind.
Their small feet plunged down the hill
To a land where angels had been;
Where the air was clear of all things dark,
All things to come, truth and doubt.
And where the sunlight shone everywhere in their eyes –
Even though the sun wasn't out.
(12/19/2013 12:12:00 AM)
My poem to all the girls who pretend to be something they're just not. It's called " They Wear The Mask" . Hope you like it and visit my other poems!
They frolic about like fawn,
They flit about like fairy,
They rule the room,
They burn the air –
But where are they?
They mask their faces,
They paint their eyes,
They flaunt their bodies
Their laughter holds cries.
But what are they?
They want to sing like Hannah Montana,
They want to look like Barbie dolls,
They want to be Vampire novel heroines,
Even though reality beckons and tolls.
But who are they?
I don’t know
And they don’t know;
It’s all such a terrible mess.
They stain their innocence like dirt the snow
And don’t even know, they don’t even know
How they’ve given a silly masquerade fest.
They hide their faces behind a show
Of flaunting musicals and false glee
To portray to the world someone else,
Shouting, “This is me! This is me! This is me! ”
(12/10/2013 5:04:00 PM)
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Hi! I was wondering if someone could critique this poem. I have to hand it in for English class next week, but I want to make it better.
Pale skin drawn in rigid lines
Stretching itself thinly across the white ribbons
That flow beneath the paper veins,
As the sharp edges of the bones threaten to break skin,
Like needles against worn fabric.
With hollow brown eyes and red chapped lips,
She examines her full-length profile,
Frowning at her fractured perception in the face of the mirror;
She cannot see the stretched skin,
Nor the bones bound for jailbreak;
Blind to the elongated piano keys
Playing themselves across her chest,
Or the fishhooks piercing up from her pelvis
That are matched only by the slender shelves of bone
Protruding from the base of her neck.
Her vision is obstructed
By a diseased mind consuming her time;
Pinching at what is not there
And aiming to lose what has already been lost.
Her spirit wanes, but her will is strong;
She’s been dead for a while, but she is far from done.Replies for this message:
(1/5/2014 3:49:00 AM)
This is great.! I loved it you did a good job.
(12/19/2013 12:10:00 AM)
I like how you don't tell us that she is dead until the end. The imagery you use is very provocative, like " elongated piano keys" . Morbid yet likable. :) Do you read Emily Dickenson?
- Melissa Robinson (1/5/2014 3:49:00 AM) Post reply
(12/8/2013 3:47:00 AM)
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pls tell me what you think of this poem. It is untitled and is dedicated to a tree.
She was a friend
In many more ways than a man could be
Just last night,
She held me high up in her arms
And together we watched the sailing stars
And this morning,
Teasingly, she waved at me in the wind
And I embraced her with the greed of a lover
But when I returned
In the hot hours of the day today,
Only earth remained where she once stood
She had to go I was told
To make room for a parking space.
(12/6/2013 4:21:00 PM)
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Hey everyone. I have to hand in a sonnet for school (this is not truly sonnet form nor does it have to be) . this is my first experience with writing poems, but I would like critique and feedback. sorry if its a little gruesome or depressing. Thanks!
Not a Murderer
I look down at my clean, inexperienced left wrist.
Its only been kissed by the blade twice, and an inked needle once.
A black infinity encircles a reminder of the night that razed everything.
I went to college, hoping to leave my problems behind me,
But they were stowed away in my bags.
They crept out, and I unzipped my skin
Revealing the blue rivers that ebbed beneath.
The school found out. This was strike two.
They said I violated the code of conduct.
Called me manipulative, called me disruptive, called my parents.
By the stroke of a small axe, my seven-year-old secret unveiled.
“A threat to yourself or others”
I was bipolar for God’s sake! Not a murderer.
(12/5/2013 7:23:00 PM)
My first post: " Perfect"
Picture perfect people of an uncommon variety
Providing icing on the cake for your average ad-man
Slip in a thin slice of subliminal messaging
And skip the sympathy
Perfection is just a few clicks away
For your average ad-man
She finds it elsewhere
At the ends of her fingers
She conjures up perfection
Flushing out the rest
Disregard the devastation
She will be the best
He finds it in the emptiness
Desolation and drought
Where hunger pangs rein
Over what little remains
Ignore the ache
He will be beautiful
But don't forget what it takes
For your average ad-man
Just a few clicks
A touch of manipulation
To set millions on the road to an unattainable destination
(11/23/2013 8:31:00 AM)
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Hey everybody! I just joined a day ago, and would really like some comments and reviews on my poetry. Maybe share ideas for improvements. Thanks, and here is a poem to get you started:
The wolf, the twisted, wretched creature of shadows,
Sat in the center of the underworld,
Waiting for the next dying soul to come within his reach,
Controls the balance of life and death so cruel,
Biting the frayed string as one life hangs by a simple thread,
His heart as blackened and shriveled as a prune decaying,
The pale gray trees around him are still,
Gnarled sorry things but,
They are like the skeletons of the lost,
Their pointed branches reach out to him,
Begging to see the forgiving light of day again,
Yearning for a sign of happiness,
Even if only in the form of a single shard of light,
But the wolf's blank eyes look away in disgust,
For he knows that they can no longer grasp life,
While their blood still flowed they were blind,
Did not see how wrong they were in their ways,
And though now they have open eyes, it is already too late,
Their reward is worse than death itself,
For each night as the moon shines upon the trees dead,
Stained souls, blackened souls, are released from their spindly prisons,
As they are freed, tortured screams and sobs echo through the night,
Trapped in their worst nightmares and memories,
Dying repeatedly their terrible deaths,
Yet all this time the wolf has watched them suffer as he suffered himself,
But now the price, the time he owed as a guardian has been paid,
So he slinks silently away in the dark.
(11/16/2013 4:31:00 AM)
http://www.poemhunter.com/mary-amrutha/ kindly read and support...
(11/16/2013 3:57:00 AM)
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WAITING FOR THE SUN TO RISE
Staring at the dark skies
Waiting for the sun to rise
When will this night end?
When will the dark descend?
Hope is beginning to fade
The shattered bits of dreams, away they wade
All those precious moments have passed
Proving that happiness never lasts
The Sun had set too soon
Leaving behind the dark sky, without a moon
Now the silent tears roll down my cheek
Though they are silent, they are louder than a shriek
I’m dying inside but you cannot see
All the pain is running through me
All I can do is to curse my fate
But I know, for the sun, I’ll have to wait
And I hope to find it some day
And if I ever do, my fears, it will allay.
(10/24/2013 1:39:00 AM)
Hey guys! I'm Meera new member. I'd like have some reviews for my poem 'Belong'. I hope you guys will read it and like it. Here it is:
Holdin your arm
keeps me warm
Being around you give me no harm
No matter how far we are from each other
We can't be apart
because we belong together forever
Our love for each other
will always remain alive
We can't be togther says the fate of our lives
But still holding you love
keeps me above
From the rain of tear
there's so much pain for me to bear
I'm drowing into the deep darkness of pain
Please come for my love to claim
because we belong togther forever.