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Jefferson Carter Jefferson Carter Male, 92, United States (2/20/2014 9:37:00 AM)

PLease, stop with the rhyming jingles! I'll help with this " free verse" poem.


We’ll fit you up with a Bumblebee Guide,
a 4-by-5 foot tin cutout attached to a latex band.
Twice a day, your guide will pull you
through the Hive of Rehabilitation, what
we call a Life-flight, the tin bee & the latex band
color-coded blue for a one-month New-bee, red
for a two-month Gonna-bee & when you’ve been
here three months, yellow & black stripes
because you’re now a Queen-bee! Your
Life-flight concludes with a celebration, a dip
in the honey-pot sauna, a free wing-massage,
a fresh pair of cannulas & unlimited karaoke
in the Bee’s Knees Community Room.

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  • Rookie - 72 Points Scotty Dogg (2/20/2014 8:02:00 PM) Post reply
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    Love it!

  • Rookie - 264 Points Laughing@ You (2/20/2014 10:40:00 AM) Post reply

    After my snootiness re: rhyme....like a good, dark beer from time to time...I enjoy the silly and safe staccato of a predictable rhyme. No harm, no foul. Have fun with language. If you have plans to be more serious about language and publishing...work hard....don't wear your heart on your sleeve....and edit, edit, edit.

    THE Queen Bee

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