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Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr Male, 55, United States (9/24/2013 8:13:00 AM)

Death After Life...

The vacuum wasn't working today,
so a dozen infants were spared aspiration
in a room custom built to perpetrate
natal anathema,

while the deep, steel disposal box
in its lively guise of shimmer
is paled by clinical darkness,
devoid of small body parts.

Sleep well, doctors of homicide,
the vacuum repair-man came today,
guarantees a productive tomorrow
to the angst of all mans gods,

as the fallen wings from River Styx
shadow the black-bloody hallways,
into the surgical killing field
of Death after Life.

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  • Rookie - 592 Points Jefferson Carter (9/24/2013 8:05:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies
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    Pretty strident, Frank. You're not going to convince any pro-choicers with this poem though you may make the anti-abortionists cheer. I think if you kept lines 1,2,9,10, and 12, you'd have something more powerful because more suggestive.


    The vacuum wasn't working today,
    so a dozen infants were spared.

    Sleep well, doctors of homicide,
    the vacuum repair-man came today

    to the anguish of all man's gods,

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie - 592 Points Lamont Palmer (9/25/2013 11:11:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

      I have to be honest here - what JC did was cut the banalities out of it (the first stanza was textbookish and matter-of-fact) and left a smaller, but much more interesting poem. Its not what you say, ... more

    • Rookie - 592 Points Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr (9/25/2013 2:09:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      Hi J.C...Thanks for the read and comment...Yes, strident would be the" RIGHT" operative generalization, here, as that was my intent, be it audience popular or not...I was actually waiting on ... more

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