Share this poems :
Click here to list all messages
(This massage was posted as a reply to that message)
Alice, pretty cool. Here are some suggestions for nip-and-tuck revisions. Good poem.
KNIGHT IN RUSTED ARMOR
He comes home in an old green suburban
Around six in the morning
Drives round and round the block
Looking for a space to park
He limps up the iron stairs
This battle weary and scarred
Short man with a large heart
Steps into my waiting arms
Thanks JC. I think I'll use your revisions. It won't have the same sound and limping rhythm (intentional) when I recite it but it still sounds good and I like the tightness.