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Adam M. Snow Adam M. Snow Male, 27, United States (6/29/2013 7:57:00 PM)

Under the Innocent Sky
By: Adam M. Snow

Under the innocent sky,
ever serene and fair.
Beauty is the stars on high,
taking away our despair.

Ever so silent it can be,
with still a melody that can be heard.
Close your eyes imagine free,
with wings stretched wide, like a morning bird.

Soaring through the dark blue sky,
ever serene and fair;
joining with the stars on high,
feeling the wind between your hair.

Even though the dream's not true,
we can still admire from afar,
the beauty the sky, so dark and blue,
and the many dancing stars.

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  • Freshman - 644 Points Jefferson Carter (6/29/2013 8:08:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies
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    Adam, this is pretty awful, even for imitation 19th-century magazine verse! " Feeling the wind between your hair" ? See what happens when you think rhyming is more important than writing a good poem? Stop writing! Please. immerse yourself reading for a year in the best contemporary poetry. Until you do that, you're going to keep writng these amateurish verses.

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    • Freshman - 644 Points S. A. S. (6/30/2013 12:02:00 AM) Post reply

      Some people just write because it's fun for them, it's what they do instead of whittle. I do think it might have been more interesting to hear about a guilty sky, but, hey, that's just my bias.

    • Freshman - 644 Points Adam M. Snow (6/29/2013 8:22:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      I will forever write, it is my passion and I will keep on writing til it comes that I shall die.

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