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Adam M. Snow Adam M. Snow Male, 26, United States (6/25/2013 12:51:00 AM)

The Ghost
By: Adam M. Snow

In this world I sought for,
who I am and many more;
without a reason but a treason.
I without a life, but with a life and none;
to live is profound, much greater is death.
If I could confound, it is that I'm not worthy
for life and for death.

Do I confined myself within my chamber,
to count the days till I remember?
Who am I?Who am I?

Who am I to curse myself so freely, so easily?
A ghost with a reflection,
with no hope, no resurrection.
I encumber my tears
with all things I fear,
there is no end for which I dream.

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  • Freshman - 1,020 Points Peter Stavropoulos (6/25/2013 7:26:00 PM) Post reply
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    I enjoyed reading this, Adam. Ambitious and courageous poem. Not less so for being put on the forum. Best wishes.

  • Rookie - 592 Points Jefferson Carter (6/25/2013 2:36:00 AM) Post reply

    Well, Adam, I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but this isn't a very good poem. It's larded with worn abstractions, awkward rhymes, imprecise diction (encumber my tears) , and, perhaps worst of all, a melodramatic hammy theme. You need to STOP writing poems and START reading good contemporary poets. I'll send you a list if you'd like, not to be imitated but to give you a sense of direction, possibility, and inspiration.

  • Rookie ..... W@king Up..... (6/25/2013 1:43:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    This poem has many different elements to it which make it a pleasure to read :) there's the nice, easy and intriguing beginning that you have... Yes, the beginning is an important part of a poem. Then there is the free form approach, and the brilliant use of words of which you write :) keep writing, I'm sure you have many more things to offer!

    -W

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