Poetics and Poetry Discussion

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Richard George United Kingdom (9/27/2005 2:59:00 PM)

Michael, David, so glad you liked the poem by Albert Huffstickler - here's another one.

To My Twin Born Dead

It was like being stuck in a door,
both of us fighting to get out,
the pressure building
like there was a crowd behind us
pushing, pushing.
And then a sudden surge
and I burst through,
hearing your voice trail away behind me
as I floundered out there in the light,
thinking 'The door was too small'.
And later then they brought you out,
a battered lifeless thing,
and I was alone for the first time ever.

Sometimes I wonder
if all my poems are to you,
keeping a record you'll never read
of my sojourn in that place
you never reached.
Sometimes I think
they need to invent
a new word for loneliness -
a sound that reaches
into the marrow of the bone
then passes on
into infinity.

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  • Rookie Michael Shepherd (9/27/2005 4:49:00 PM) Post reply
    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.

    My feeling is, he could have taken this further with a bit more thought. But a fine idea nevertheless and yes, a strong ending that the rest of the poem doesn't deserve.

  • Rookie Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (9/27/2005 3:48:00 PM) Post reply

    wow. sad poem. i hope it never happens to me.

  • Rookie - 150 Points Poetry Hound (9/27/2005 3:38:00 PM) Post reply

    I'm not sure if I like this poem or not. It's kind of wierd. But I just love the final 'Sometimes...' sentence.

  • Rookie Mary Nagy (9/27/2005 3:32:00 PM) Post reply

    If I may say, I think this is one of the most moving poems I've ever read. I've never heard of this poet but this is wonderful. Mary

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