Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop


Workshop for poetry written in traditional forms.
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Stephen Stirk Male, 57, United Kingdom (2/20/2009 7:28:00 AM)

The Cabbage Patch Men (A Poem in Rhythm and Rhyme)

There’s a bare stretch of land down the end of our street
It’s a place unemployed and retired folk meet
Where we hang about idly and talk about nature
We really don’t care if you’re early or late your
A ‘Town Growers’ member elite

You’ve a small bit of land, an ‘allotment’ its name
It’s got fence on all sides, and you’re so glad you came
If you’re wealthy, you sit in a shed, made of wood
If you’re not, an old brolly and box are as good
It’s all part of the ‘Town Growers’ game

There’s a smell in the air “Is it sh**”? You’re not sure
But regardless, you keep coming back for some more
The posh have green wellies, the jobless have black
Some even have tellies, the bad guys smoke crack
And the smell is concealed by manure

There’s polite conversation to analyze veg
There’s three litres of cider concealed in a hedge
The men discuss deeply the size of their sprouts
And the way to protect them from greenfly or louts
Or the weeds and coarse grasses like sedge

There’s no toilet in sight should you feel like a pee
So you simply discharge it were no-one can see
Indecent exposure could cause a mishap
Up to three years in jail should you bend for a c**p
But organic and chemical free

“My plums are gigantic”, says John, unemployed
“And I know my cucumber is often enjoyed”
“Look at me pumpkin, I grew it from seed
This beauty’s from Europe, a bloody great swede
But me marrow dried up, I’m annoyed

Kevin is proud of his long thick courgette
And brags of the item he grew for a bet
He says “it tastes great when it turns darkish green”
It grows very quick and you know where it’s been
And my girlfriend is proud “Aren’t you pet”

There’s a serious edge to the cabbage debate
And some blows are exchanged on ‘The use of phosphate’
Dirty Danny peers out from the back of his shed
Has a girl to deflower on his spring onion bed
And it’s only their very first date

“I don’t rush me greens, they are not grown in haste”
Says a proud small patch holder “All eaten – no waste”
There’s nothing as white as me organic cauli
I grew it in shit from a farm horse called ‘Dolly’
But it does leave a slight aftertaste

As darkness descends at the ‘Town Growers’ club
And the heroes depart with their organic grub
Wives have bought veg either frozen or tinned
And the ‘Town Growers’ produce ends up being binned
So the growers depart to the pub

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  • Duh Huh (2/21/2009 9:22:00 PM) Post reply

    A funny enjoyable read, i laughed and giggled and its been a while since i giggled lol.

    If i still had any growing up to do,
    i'd want to grow up to write just like you :)

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