(5/25/2013 8:21:00 AM)
There is a whole lot that is very nice in this poem, the cleverness of the first two lines and the imagery to help the reader understand the abstraction of the emotion. I think it could be tighten up and with that be exceptional. Let me know if you want to work more on this poem. I'll be happy to give you more specific notes.
(5/22/2013 9:47:00 AM)
nice poem Lily. Love this
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