Writing Poetry

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Lily Thompson United Kingdom (5/7/2013 3:55:00 PM)


I forgot to forget
I remembered to remember
Winter sun sparking your eyes
Setting them alight –
warming me,
that you spoke
Still etched in your face
for my witness,
Lost in the breeze,
Twirling through the trees,
Dancing in the wind,
As we watched the seasons pass
Coolly unconcerned – by definition,
I tried
But the wind blows past
I breathe in the dance
And I forget to forget.
I remember.

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  • Rookie James Kastner (5/25/2013 8:21:00 AM) Post reply
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    There is a whole lot that is very nice in this poem, the cleverness of the first two lines and the imagery to help the reader understand the abstraction of the emotion. I think it could be tighten up and with that be exceptional. Let me know if you want to work more on this poem. I'll be happy to give you more specific notes.

  • Rookie Bismarck Williams (5/22/2013 9:47:00 AM) Post reply

    nice poem Lily. Love this

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