Writing Poetry

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  • Rookie Jae Centorino (6/12/2007 12:38:00 PM) Post reply
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    I love the idea of people helping others in their writing. What I don't understand is how can they help if they don't read them? It seems that some people have it in their minds certain poetry just dosen't matter. I try to read many diffrent poets no matter what the title is and or subject it's called not being bias. Please anyone that can critique me I welcome constructive critisism. I don't welcome people being mean and ignorant. Yes, I need much help I'm sure...

  • Rookie Sarah Adams (6/6/2007 5:50:00 PM) Post reply

    Any tip to make it better


    I don’t understand why I am feeling like this
    I don’t understand why my friends are happy and I am not
    I don’t understand why can I be happy
    I don’t understand why I feel like I be better at being dead

    I don’t understand why no one care about me
    I don’t understand why I cant be loved like anyone does
    I don’t understand why I am thinking of suicide
    I don’t understand why no one try to save me

    I don’t understand why no one love me
    I don’t understand why people use me
    I don’t understand why I cry
    I don’t understand why I cry for help and no one care to take a notice

    I don’t understand why I try to kill myself
    I don’t understand why I live
    I don’t understand why anyone said Yea right and pretty girls don’t try to kill themselves
    I don’t understand why I got to prove that I just need to feel loved

    I don’t understand why they cared when I end up in Funeral
    I don’t understand why they end up crying when I told them about my feelings
    I don’t understand why they said I didn’t think she would kill herself
    I don’t understand why they said I am so sorry that I didn’t try to take you serious

    I don’t understand why I should care about them
    I don’t understand why I try to tell them and they didn’t take me so serious
    I don’t understand why I end up in the funeral Casket
    But I don’t need to understand why because I took easy exit

  • Rookie Anochapr Promaon (6/6/2007 8:17:00 AM) Post reply

    I look across the distant sky, staring with curiosity
    wondering about who was it that led you to me
    There are millions of people, it doesn't make any sense that we met
    From a person that believes in nothing, I finally question myself
    So, is it really destiny that let us be?
    So, we are destined for each other, then could I ask for something?
    Please don't ever let us part, let us love one another till death do us part
    Can I ask for this?
    Back then, I thought my breath was for myself
    But when I met you, I just realized that my breath is for you
    There are millions of people, it doesn't make any sense that we met
    From a person that believes in nothing, finally I have to question myself again
    There are still millions of people, there's no reason that I'm the one
    From a person that believes in nothing, finally I have to question myself again

  • Rookie Anochapr Promaon (6/6/2007 8:15:00 AM) Post reply

    It's a circle that is not full.
    It's a circle that is disconnected.
    A quarter of it was disappear.
    Bring myself to sleep on the way and lose the way.
    To find the losing fragment.To fulfill it as before.
    Since you gone it’s like my heart that just have desolate day and night
    To find my love.
    Just for fulfill my heart.
    It's lonely and I don't alone for long time.
    I'm so tired.
    I don't know how I spend my remaining of life.
    It's an old slow down circle.
    It's laugh merrily circle that become exhausted.
    And I can't stand anymore.
    My heart still loves you.
    Think of the missing quarter.
    I may sigh and fall down.
    Someday I may know I will fall down by myself.

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    http: //poeminlove.blogspot.com

  • Rookie Permanent Daylight (6/5/2007 10:33:00 PM) Post reply

    Hello, I'm new to Poemhunter. If you guys could check out my poetry, and leave your feedback (I'm grateful for anything constructive) , I'd be glad. I'm currently applying for a poetry mentorship, and I'm 14 by the way. Thanks.

  • Rookie Mahmoud Ghoochani (6/5/2007 9:36:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    If you like the sea soil, you should wear a dress of mud and pray for raining.
    Doubtlessly the clouds agree with you and pour their tears. And this is the same time when your night dreams become consonant with flying of the sound and whisper the pictured words on horizon line for you.
    And there is the last time when the scent of your melody presents its complain of you to the messenger of the sound and the dawn, will touch the strange friend and will shoot the love bullet to the desert. The bullet may hit you since loves you.

    Author: Mahmoud Ghoochani
    Iran – Mashhad

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie Unwritten Soul (12/13/2013 9:58:00 AM) Post reply

      The imagery you created here was very good..it can be a very " visualistic" poetic expression. Good Job_Soul

  • Rookie Mahmoud Ghoochani (6/5/2007 9:34:00 PM) Post reply

    I have a lost person in the city of my heart who is “the flower of the flock of my thoughts.” Some one who, her loneliness, in a glassy stillness, is covering by flowers and changes the moonlight to the lapful of stars.
    The person who her name is all of the entity and remembers the traveling always. Now she presents her green eyes which are as green as a garden, to my heart. Her expectation with closed eyes, is like a kiss on her hand to cause her to understand my loyalty.

    Author: Mahmoud Ghoochani
    Iran – Mashhad

  • Rookie Jade Leven (6/4/2007 6:16:00 PM) Post reply

    My poetry is just okay, but I want it to be great! If anyone has time to give me suggestions, I would really appreciate it.

  • Rookie Katie Finley (6/3/2007 7:03:00 PM) Post reply

    Hi all! If you have time, please feel free to read my poetry and criticize away! I am a 22 year-old student looking for ways to improve my poetry. Many thanks.

    the space between

    tree branches like sparrow tracks solemn
    across the blushing sky. gray-black shingles naked-
    gutter forlorn and empty, no leaves struggling
    to find balance. before you
    trees, these trees, manifestations of child’s stick-figure renderings—bleak,
    but then
    grooves beneath your eyes extend
    like half-buried sand dollars blanching
    in dawn’s burning light. rays of heat pour
    forth like lasers of inexplicable brightness from the tips
    of thin branches, and
    even the wind’s howling fills my ears with your name softly

    and even the last, steadfast leaf gracefully accepts

    when I fell, I sank softly
    into leaves of you. swirling, butterfly kisses against my cheek, faint
    as a moth’s thin wings beating weakly
    in cold fog. fierce enough
    that as I gaze
    out at gray-black shingles, they melt and begin to slide
    off the roof. pools of molten leaves shimmer.


    leaves silent now. look long
    enough, you see pumpkin shards scattered
    earth-bound. cold dissipated
    when your eyes ignited—
    hungry autumn colors soaking pages
    inside of me, colors bleeding, curling into itself.
    embers of you inflame thin branches
    of my heart, smoldering
    explosions across night sky. in between my arms, this space
    rises like smoke coiling
    from new england chimneys, or maybe the expulsion
    of your breath in winter.

    -katie finley

  • Rookie Thomas Kelly (5/31/2007 9:14:00 AM) Post reply

    hello to all! i am new here, and pretty new to poetry. i have written a couple of poems in the past few months. here is one i wrote to my wife, i usually write all my poems about her with a few exceptions of random ones. any comments would be greatly appreciated. i have no background in poetry, nor have i taken any classes on it, so let me know what you think....thank you

    “A Lonely Tear”

    I’ve opened a space, for you in my heart
    As we begin this journey, not far from the start
    I’ve learned to love you, in a different way
    My love grows stronger, with each passing day

    To look in your eyes, and see your pain
    Sends me to a place, I wish never to be again
    I am a new person, this you must see
    Open your heart, and fall in love with me

    My love will not fade, it won’t cease with time
    Don’t be afraid, let your feelings unwind
    Take my hand, on this road to love
    Let me lead you, to the place you dream of

    Flowers and gifts, these are material signs
    Real love lies, within the heart and mind
    It takes a lot of work, to love someone
    The things I’ve done so far, I’ve just begun

    Set your mind free, don’t think of the past
    Remember my love is here, and it will last
    I love you more now, than I have before
    I cry this lonely tear, for I know I’m sure

    Written by:
    Thomas E. Kelly Jr.

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