(8/13/2006 8:37:00 PM)
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critique needed! !
Why I wonder do I go home?
All I feel is empty and begin to roam.
I walk around as if I have lots to do
When in reality I haven’t a clue!
Sweep and Mop, Wash and Dust
Occupy my mind before I combust
I’ll go to the store, that’s another chore
Fridge is empty and I must fix that door.
Standing in the aisle I become undone
I have nothing but to purchase for one.
Oh there was a time I shopped for two
There was always this for me and this for you.
Aimless I wander, Aimless I buy
I know I need bread, maybe I should try rye?
You liked wheat, but that doesn’t matter
There’s another habit I must shatter.
What was wrong with the hinge?
And why is Home Depot so big?
Here I go remembering the past…..
Oh but wasn’t it fun, building that box
Me, wondering how long a dog’s pregnancy lasts…
Oh yes that’s right I’m here for what reason?
No. No. Paints aren’t what I am looking for
Ugh! ! ! You used to find anything for all seasons
Why is there no one in orange around?
Forget get it! Maybe I will just nail it down
Off I go in my empty car, to my empty bed, with my empty heart, and and an empty head
You know what though I have grown
I know I hate rye, I know over a door I will not cry
So off to sleep I will try
to dream of the times
you were at my side
and I hold your notes just so that I know
you were actually here, not a Van Gogh.Replies for this message:
(8/20/2006 12:13:00 PM)
If you've just started then it's really good. Please don't be put off or offended by my other comment- I swear to God, I relaly don't ever mean to offend anyone. Honestly, your poem was really good. J ... more
(8/20/2006 12:03:00 PM)
This is quite a good poem with good content. My only advice would be that you perhaps shouldn't worry about the rhyming so much. You could try freestyle with some rhymes every so often. It's promising ... more
- Mary-Elizabeth Conn (8/20/2006 12:13:00 PM) Post reply
(8/12/2006 6:41:00 AM)
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juss wanted some honest opinions on stuff that ive written..
Im hurting again,
Theres no other friend,
No one to share the pain with,
Wish i could just get on with it.
No one to tell me to stop crying,
No one there to save me from dying,
I think im finally giving up hope,
Maybe its time i listened to the call of dope.
If theres one thing ive learnt its that people lie,
We lie, lie, lie and eventually die,
Death is the only truth in this unruly world,
So embrace it my friends, Embrace it like GOLD!
(8/10/2006 4:02:00 AM)
Can someone read my stuff and give me opinions... with an fyi that I have just started trying this poetry stuff...
(8/5/2006 6:18:00 PM)
and give me ur openions in this poem
(8/5/2006 4:41:00 PM)
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hey just wondeiring if ne1 could readmypoems n give me sum pointers n stuff much appreciated
(8/3/2006 9:18:00 PM)
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i wanted to know about poetic metaphors because ive been longing for them 2 bcum one with my poetry....i want 2 know what they are and how you can develop them? ? any help wud b appreciated......
(7/31/2006 10:30:00 PM)
ABC - A poem that has five lines that create a mood, picture, or feeling. Lines 1 through 4 are made up of words, phrases or clauses while the first word of each line is in alphabetical order. Line 5 is one sentence long and begins with any letter.
ABC Verse - Poetry in which every word begins with a successive letter of the alphabet. The first word begins with A, the second with B, etc.
Acrostic - Poetry that certain letters, usually the first in each line form a word or message when read in a sequence.
Alliteration - Alliterations are sentences or phrases that contain words that repeat the same beginning consonant sounds. The initial sounds of a word, beginning either with a consonant or a vowel, are repeated in close succession.
Ballad - A poem that tells a story similar to a folk tail or legend which often has a repeated refrain.
Ballade - A poem that tells a story similar to a folk tail or legend which often has a repeated refrain.
Bio - A poem written about one self's life, personality traits, and ambitions.
Blank verse - A poem written in unrhymed iambic pentameter and is often unobtrusive. The iambic pentameter form often resembles the rhythms of speech.
Burlesque - Poetry that treats a serious subject as humor.
Canzone - Medieval Italian lyric style poetry with five or six stanzas and a shorter ending stanza.
Carpe Diem - Latin expression that means 'seize the day.' Carpe diem poems have a theme of living for today.
Cinquain - Poetry with five lines. The modern cinquain is based on a word count of words of a certain type. Line 1 has one word (the title) . Line 2 has two words that describe the title. Line 3 has three words that tell the action. Line 4 has four words that express the feeling, and line 5 has one word which recalls the title. The traditional cinquain is based on a syllable count. Twenty-Two syllables in the following pattern (2-4-6-8-2)
Classicism - Poetry which holds the principles and ideals of beauty that are characteristic of Greek and Roman art, architecture, and literature.
Concrete - A concrete poem is one that takes the shape of the object it describes.
Couplet - couplet has rhyming stanzas made up of two lines.
Cowboy - Cowboy poetry is rhymed, metered verse written by someone who has lived a significant portion of his or her life in Western North American cattle culture. The verse reflects an intimate knowledge of that way of life, and the community from which it maintains itself in tradition.
Diamonte - The purpose is to go from the subject at the top of the diamond to another totally different (and sometimes opposite) subject at the bottom.
Didactic - A form of verse, the aim of which is to instruct the mind and improve morals. It essentially lays out a body of detailed information for the reader with the aim of molding the reader into a certain ethical or religious frame of mind.
Diminished Hexaverse - A poem containing stanzas of 5 lines, then 4 lines, then 3 lines, then 2 lines, ending with one word. The syllables in each stanza correspond to the number of lines, i.e.5 in each line in the first stanza,4 in the second stanza and so on. This form may contain more than five stanzas.
Dramatic monologue - A type of poem which is spoken to a listener. The speaker addresses a specific topic while the listener unwittingly reveals details about him/herself.
Elegy - A sad and thoughtful poem about the death of an individual.
Epic - An extensive, serious poem that tells the story about a heroic figure.
Epigram - A very short, ironic and witty poem usually written as a brief couplet or quatrain. The term is derived from the Greek epigramma meaning inscription.
Epitaph - A commemorative inscription on a tomb or mortuary monument written to praise the deceased.
Epithalamium - poem written in honor of the bride and groom.
Etheree - Created about twenty years ago by an Arkansas poet named Etheree Taylor Armstrong, this titled form, the Etheree, consists of ten lines of unmetered and unrhymed verse, the first line having one syllable, each succeeding line adding a syllable, with the total syllable count being fifty-five.
Free verse (vers libre) - Poetry that is based on the irregular rhythmic CADENCE or the recurrence, with variations, of phrases, images, and syntactical patterns rather than the conventional use of METER. RHYME may or may not be present in free verse, but when it is, it is used with great freedom.
Haiku - A Japanese poem composed of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, usually about some form of nature.
Iambic Pentameter - A meter in poetry, consisting of lines with five feet (hence 'pentameter') in which the iamb is the dominant foot (hence 'Iambic') . Iambic rhythms are quite easy to write in English and iambic pentameter is among the most common metrical forms in English poetry. Like the rest of the meters it has its origins in Greek poetry.
Idyll (Idyl) - Poetry that either depicts a peaceful, idealized country scene or a long poem telling a story about heroes of a bye gone age.
Imagism - Name given to a movement in poetry aimed at clarity of expression through the use of precise visual images. In the early period often written in the French form Imagisme. To use the language of common speech, but to employ the exact word, not the nearly-exact, nor the merely decorative word.
Italian Sonnet - A sonnet consisting of an octave with the rhyme pattern abbaabba followed by six lines with a rhyme pattern of cdecde or cdcdcd. Lay - A long narrative poem, especially one that was sung by medieval minstrels.
Lay - A long narrative poem, especially one that was sung by medieval minstrels.
Limerick - A short sometimes vulgar, humorous poem consisting of five anapestic lines. Lines 1,2, and 5 of have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.
List - A poem that is made up of a list of items or events. It can be any length and rhymed or unrhymed.
Lyric - A poem that expresses the thoughts and feelings of the poet.
Name - Poetry that tells about the word. It uses the letters of the word for the first letter of each line.
Narrative - A poem that tells a story.
Ode - A lengthy lyric poem typically of a serious or meditative nature and having an elevated style and formal stanza structure.
Pastoral - A poem that depicts rural life in a peaceful, romanticized way.
Personification - A form of poetry in which human characteristics are attributed to nonhuman things. Personification offers the poet a way to give the world life and motion by assigning familiar human behaviors and emotions to animals, inanimate objects, and abstract ideas.
Quatrain - A stanza or poem consisting of four lines. Lines 2 and 4 must rhyme while having a similar number of syllables.
Rhyme - A rhyming poem has the repetition of the same or similar sounds of two or more words, often at the end of the line.
Rhyme royal - A type of poetry consisting of stanzas having seven lines in iambic pentameter.
Rictameter - A rictameter is a nine line poetry form. The 1st and last lines are the same with the syllable count as follows: • line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9 • line 2 - 4 syllables • line 3 - 6 syllables • line 4 - 8 syllables • line 5 - 10 syllables • line 6 - 8 syllables • line 7 - 6 syllables • line 8 - 4 syllables • line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1
Romanticism - A poem about nature and love while having emphasis on the personal experience.
Rondeau - A lyrical poem of French origin having 10 or 13 lines with two rhymes and with the opening phrase repeated twice as the refrain.
Senryu - A short Japanese style poem, similar to haiku in structure that treats human beings rather than nature: Often in a humorous or satiric way.
Sestina - A poem consisting of six six-line stanzas and a three-line envoy. The end words of the first stanza are repeated in varied order as end words in the other stanzas and also recur in the envoy.
Shape - Poetry written in the shape or form of an object.
Sijo - Sijo is the classic form of unrhymed poetry in Korea. Sijo have three long lines. Each line varies between 14 and 16 syllables, with the middle line the longest. The first line states a theme, the second line counters it, and the third line resolves the poem.
Sonnet - Lyric poems that are 14 lines that usually have one or more conventional rhyme schemes.
Tail-rhyme - (rime couée) This is a French form consisting of two rhymes. First there is a rhyming couplet of normally of eight syllables then a third and shorter line. There is another couplet that rhymes with the first one and the sixth, shorter line that rhymes with the third line. This gives us a suggested pattern: aabccb
Tanka - A Japanese poem of five lines, the first and third composed of five syllables and the other seven.
Terza Rima - A type of poetry consisting of 10 or 11 syllable lines arranged in three-line tercets.
Tetractys - Poetry consisting of at least 5 lines of 1,2,3,4,10 syllables (total of 20) .
Tyburn - A tyburn is a six line poem consisting of 2,2,2,2,9,9 syllables. The first four lines rhyme and are all descriptive words. The last two lines rhyme and incorporate the 1st,2nd,3rd, and 4th lines as the 5th to 8th syllables.
Verse - A single metrical line of poetry.
Villanelle - A 19-line poem consisting of five tercets and a final quatrain on two rhymes. The first and third lines of the first tercet repeat alternately as a refrain closing the succeeding stanzas and joined as the final couplet of the quatrain.
(7/31/2006 10:29:00 PM)
Found this and thought it might help. Helped me. :)
Alliteration - Starting three or more words with the same sound.
Example: The crazy crackling crops.
Anapestic - A three syllable foot made of two unstressed syllables followed by one stressed syllable
Example: comprehend, intervene
Assonance - A repetition of vowel sounds within syllables with changing consonants.
Example: Tilting at windmills
Cliche - An overused word or phrase.
Example: I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
Dactylic - A three syllable foot which is accented on the first syllable
Example: merrily, lover boy
Foot (Feet) - The units used in poetry- Feet are composed of syllables arranged in some kind of pattern of accented and unaccented syllables. There are five most commonly used sets of feet are iambic (iamb) , trochaic (trochee) , anapestic (anapest) , dactylic (dactyl) , and spondaic (spondee) .
Hyperbole - A large exageration, usually used with humor.
Example: The fish was a football field and a granny long.
Iambic - A foot consisting of two syllables where the accent lies on the second syllable
Example: hello, avoid, the rush
Idiom - A language familiar to a group of people.
Example: Ya'll comin' to da party tonight?
Metaphor - A word or phrase used to have a completely different meaning.
Example: Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven' being a constant reminder of his loss and not truly a raven.
Meter - The measured arrangement of words in poetry, as by accentual rhythm, syllabic quantity, or the number of syllables in a line.
Onomatopoeia - A word imitating a sound.
Example: 'buzz', 'moo' and 'beep'
Rhyme - Similarity of sound in the last syllable.
Example: Spoon and Toon
Simile - An expression that compares one thing to another using 'like' or 'as'.
Example: The milk tasted like pickles.
Spondaic - A two syllable foot that is comprised of two accented syllables-usually this is done in poetry by using one syllable words (like cat, dog) in a row
Example: bread box, shoe shine
Tercet - A group of three lines, often rhyming together or with another tercet.
Example: The winged seeds, where they lie cold and low,
Each like a corpse within its grave,
until Thine azure sister of the Spring shall blow.
Trochaic - A foot in with one accented syllable followed by one unaccented syllable
Example: only, total
Vikram Aarella - The Poem Shooter
(7/31/2006 4:39:00 PM)
i am sort of addicted to this site since i found out about it, and since i have been writing like mad what i think as poetry and some of u might have read some of my poems and ur words of encouragement has made me race to my 100th poem ' Century of poems' which i have posted.
But i am still not sure about the quality of my poems, i would like you people to read my 100th poem and give ur opinions.
I am exhausted and have to rethink about writing poems in future, so please give ur opinions.
(7/30/2006 3:31:00 PM)
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hey everybody can people readmy poems and give pointers and such if you can please n thankyou