Dorothy Parker

(22 August 1893 - 7 June 1967 / Long Branch / New Jersey)

Quotations

  • ''Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Interview in Writers at Work, First Series, ed. Malcolm Cowley (1958).
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  • ''Gratitude—the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Interview in Writers at Work, First Series, ed. Malcolm Cowley (1958).
  • ''As artists they're rot, but as providers they're oil wells; they gush. Norris said she never wrote a story unless it was fun to do. I understand Ferber whistles at her typewriter. And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Interview in Writers at Work, First Series, ed. Malcolm Cowley (1958).
  • ''All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Interview in Writers at Work, First Series, ed. Malcolm Cowley (1958).
  • ''I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back on. I can't imagine how I did it. When I got away from it I couldn't even refer to the place by name. "Out there," I called it.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Interview in Writers at Work, First Series, ed. Malcolm Cowley (1958).
  • ''Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. repr. in The Portable Dorothy Parker, pt. 2 (1944, revised 1973). "Mrs. Post Enlarges on Etiquette," The New Yorker (December 31, 1927).
  • ''Men seldom make passes
    At girls who wear glasses.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. News Item, Enough Rope (1926).
  • ''He has a capacity for enjoyment so vast that he gives away great chunks to those about him, and never even misses them.... He can take you to a bicycle race and make it raise your hair.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. New Yorker (November 30, 1929).
  • ''Tonstant Weader fwowed up.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. New Yorker (Oct. 20, 1928), repr. in The Collected Dorothy Parker, pt. 2 (1973). Closing words of review of The House at Pooh Corner, in Parker's "Constant Reader" column.
  • ''Why is it no one ever sent me yet
    One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
    Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
    One perfect rose.''
    Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. One Perfect Rose, st. 3, Enough Rope (1926).

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Transition

Too long and quickly have I lived to vow
The woe that stretches me shall never wane,
Too often seen the end of endless pain
To swear that peace no more shall cool my brow.
I know, I know- again the shriveled bough
Will burgeon sweetly in the gentle rain,
And these hard lands be quivering with grain-
I tell you only: it is Winter now.

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