Dee Jay

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Today I Learned That I Am An Orphan - Thanks Mom

Something inside me broke today.
It was hope.
For decades I'd clung to it.
I finally realized that those people
whom I'd previously referred to as my family
did not want me in their lives.

I was angry - because it hurt so much.
I felt betrayed.
But I'm not angry anymore.
I was sad - because it hurt so much.
I felt so disappointed.
But I am not sad anymore.

I no longer feel compelled to be helpful/used.
I no longer desire to be generous/manipulated.
I no longer have an obligation to be caring/blamed.
Those people - with their pathetic attempts at concealing their own guilt and/or failings in their own lives.
They are no longer a concern of mine.

I don't feel anything.
It isn't good or bad.
It is how anyone would feel towards people
that they did not know.

My memories will fade.
With time.
Until all I see are strangers.

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