Bridgid Patrick

Since rhyming and rhythm are terribly boring
They must now be barred from all musical scoring;
Those poets employing these rhythms and rhymes
Should pay with their lives for committing such crimes!
...

Six weeks old today mamma
a birthday gift for me,
a pair of big brown eyes through
one day i will see.
...

The handbag is a rare delight, it's like Aladdin's cave,
All sorts of things are hidden there, that females like to save,
It's black and big and heavy, with a nice long shoulder strap,
Its weighted down with odds and sods and other stuff like that.
...

I was walking down the river bank it was just the other night
When a vampire with a fishing rod gave me a real bad fright
'I haven't had a bite all day' it said and bared its drooling fangs
'A pint or two of your cool blood will cure my hunger pangs'
...

Starkle starkle little twink
who the heck you are I think
I'm not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol
...

The Torment

Sorrow swalowed me into the cruel black sea,
The icy cold water washed over me,
...

She looks like a hooker, regular tart,
Owes her face less to nature than cosmetic art.
'Prostitute' or 'loose woman' are terms that might irk her,
So in sanitized speech she's now called a sex worker.
...

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
...

Ding dong the witch is dead
The wicked witch is dead.
Somebody filled her brains with lead
and now the wicked witch is dead.
...

Whenever you would call me, I'd always be right there,
When i really needed you you didnt seem to care.
I'm a stranger in your world, I dont know where to turn,
You like to watch me waste my tears, and then to crash and burn.
...

Just a line to say I'm living,
that I'm not among the dead,
though I'm getting more forgetful
and mixed up in the head.
...

I dreamed a dream in bed last night,
Of places most bizarre.
Of ponds of liquid lemon pie,
And ducks that played guitar.
...

I once believed
in fairy tales.
That love was true
and never failed.
...

Dear Lord, we ask you if you will,
put your blessing on this meal.
We ask you Father, if it pleases,
protect us from these new diseases.
...

Good morning! Thanks for calling us!
We're pleased to hear from you!
Your call's important to us
So we've placed you in a queue.
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BEWARE! ! Lest ye should incur my wrath!
'Tis dangerous now, seek not that path
For on this day I have been scorned
And you, my fellows, have been warned
...

She whispered 'will it hurt me? '
'Of course not' answered he
'It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me.'
...

Once together, now apart
One still with a broken heart.
One saying it will never be;
The other fighting reality.
...

I guess it’s all over. Our marriage has failed.
I’m sorry I’m not what you thought you had nailed.
No need to get dirty in times of divorce,
You say you want everything; Baby! Of course!
...

My outstretched arms surpass the point
Of normal, taxing every joint
By reaching, gasping, pulling in
The cloistered thoughts that lie within.
...