Ending up back at start
I had what was good for me in the mist of what I couldn't see.
Blind by so many things in my pass that hurt me. Instead of releasing what was on thee inside of me, I kept it in, for safety with built in wall and it became a painful memory that was draining the life of me. Pushing people away treating them like their were my enemy because of the little things! ! ! ! ! but the whole time it really wasn't them it was me! ! ! being mean! Acted in away that showed them I'm a bully, i didn't care, i didn't want to talk, I'm over it! ! ! so that they could leave! ! ! and i can say to myself it was all an act they never did love me. I created reaction because I'm custom to battles, and fights! ! Then they still stayed and thought they had to be crazy! ! ! Or weird That made me secretly happy! ! ! but I was the cause, even if they choose leave I was the one to blame! ! ! pointing the finger at them wheres three pointing back at me. You see I was on get back terms because i'm hurting! ! ! Selfishly I had to protect myself, I had to block those individual and keep them at a distance! so I can see something, feel something, in them that can be a broken consistency! ! ! and in thee end nothing! ! ! ! Being Depress became easy! ! ! sad became thee opposed of joy! drinking became the key of me copping thur but headed nowhere! ! ! but I have my buddy's
And they have me! ! ! ! And just may be deep in their hearts they feel sorry for me because with any relationship I
Always end up back at start! ! with know body but them! !