Ankoku Gekido

I walk carelessly down the dark road
My heavy black boots constantly clicking
Clicking on the cold cement
My long black and velvet Trench coat
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A forgotten time
A forgotten society
A forgotten land
A forgotten people
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Febuary 2nd 2008

A want for the blade
To cut into my sensitive flesh
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A waiting heart
Is one full of sorrow
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October 14th 2007

Cant anyone see?
Jason?
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I Love the sweet little things
The random comments
The sweet kisses
The heart felt hugs
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Its all your fault
That life is like this
Its all your fault
As well as all the people like you
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No one sees my pain
It is there
A dark spot in the light I show
The light that is not my true self
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He showed me how to love
He showed me there is reason to live
The man who saved me from my darkness
The man who pulled me from my sorrow
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I don’t understand it
I have everything I could want
But I’m still depressed
I’m still sad
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I close my eyes and see you
Your smile
I hear you
Your laughter
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If I died
And came back to life
As someone else
Would you love me then?
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...

The man I love
Who pulled me from the dark
My Aijin
Who showed me there was reason to live
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Why wont you see me?
Why is it you say you want to help,
That you want to see the real me.
Yet when I try to show you, you push me away?
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I love him with all my heart
But why do I hide from him?
I love him with all my soul
So why do I Fear him
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I watch as they are happy
I watch as they laugh and have fun
I watch my friends be happy and realize
They don't need me
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I still love you,
After the blows we’ve thrown,
After the pain we’ve dealt to each other.
I still love you as if I had just fallen
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Things are returning to how they used to be
Returning to the times when I am useless
To the times when my life has no meaning
To when I cant trust anyone
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It hurts so much
The memory
The image of his lifeless body
The blood on the wall
...