Ana Podarevska

i lay entwined in your sheets
and cover myself with ragged breathing,
hoping the words falling from your lips
will be the words that i've been needing.
...

when did your innocence shatter?
your fingers used to trip over my skin,
but now run up my thigh
so effortlessly.
...

Smeared and wasted,
Unmoving on the bathroom floor.
Grime and makeup under her nails
Because she tried to tear her mask off.
...

my stomach swells
and i feel pregnant
but it's only the bottle of water i drank.
then again, the brand is Life Water
...

'To whom it may concern,
It's still raining dirt outside my door.
The baby in the jar, I swear,
Gave me a wink and a grin.'
...

you've finally melted into what i hoped you were underneath.
and it's so messed up that i can only love in reaction to abuse,
i can only stay attached if i know i'm being used;
an outlet for anger or for input of lust,
...

Syrup slows the blood in your veins
You're losing yourself again
(You're losing me again)
Unresponsive and desolated
...

Sometimes I think I skipped my childhood completely.
I shouldn't be where I am.
Sometimes I think me loving you so discreetly
never gave you a thought of how much I cared.
...

i push some words he will inevitably forget
in his general direction.
his grin breaks out before they even reach
his comprehension.
...

how i want to use him is a secret only to me.
if i knew my intentions, i could stop the flies.
if i knew his thinking, i would swallow his pride.
...

i see you're lonely without your plate of moral behavior.
the preachers kept preaching, but the words just stopped reaching your ears.
...

burn-out without any use in his life.
in a year or two, he'll be a burn-out
burnt out even more.
they see no questioning reflections in his eyes,
...

headrush full of glutteral yells
steak knives find their way to my hands.
gripped so tight, my knuckles turn white.
i can't stop the stabbing until you take a bite.
...

why wouldn't you use your sins to get what you want?
they'll either cower or come- often both.
it's better than a receding sanity.
with infected gums the bite is full of grime and teeth.
...

faint smells of disintegration
overcame the lapse of judgement.
a craving for someone to make me believe i have them,
and always will.
...

ingest your morals from the plate
feeding all the morons.
bad guy, good girl
black-white ideals.
...

How can you look into her mind
And know just how to lie?
Leaving her bled and breathless,
Numb,
...

nasal passages contract with the smallest contact high.
can you get by?
i have mine, but are we still alive?
drums in my ears make the smallest dots appear from the sky-
...

my appetite won't sleep
it wants to give the hurt it gets.
crack open your ceramic head,
you'll wish that it was me instead.
...

I want you to be the casualty I'll never remember again
I want our goodbye to be what you remember every day.
Just spill your regrets and I will spill mine,
We both know their meanings are pointless, you don't really care.
...