alisha gonzales

i woke up
my body was cold
i climbed off the bed
i tried not to fall
...

are you really there
if you are
do you really care
if you do
...

i had a dream last night
i was tortured by a clown
and avidly pissing blood
i went down a slide
...

i remember you
your beautiful eyes
your soft lips
i believe it was a dream
...

i pick my brain for words i feel
a generation not afraid to speak
i pull out rhymes and emotions to bleed
and in time they become my dreams
...

i made love to a rusty blade
more of a friend without a name
the blade cut mary jane and coke
but mostly my veins
...

the life of pain
im a human stain
lonely and waiting
the stain becomes bigger
...

i promised
i would no longer cut myself
...

I am cold inside from all the lies
I loved you so but you stepped on my heart
You watched me die you let it happen
Now I'm cold inside
...

The guinea pig doesn’t run as fast as it used to, in fact I'm not sure if it’s even there at all anymore. Maybe it wasn’t ever there, who knows, who cares.
Anyways there’s bigger things at hand than just the guinea pig.
...

Trees and dirt
I'm just like them I'm the scum of the earth
Chants and spells
For the well-being and revenge on which we dwell,
...

I see the world in my own array of colors
I paint my story every time I bleed
I leave a handprint where I used to be
i live my life
...

if you can catch bubbles on your tongue,
can you also breathe pure air into your lungs?
do you believe in fairy tales?
do you believe that love prevails?
...

numb to the expressions of the outside world
for years of exile
in my lonely dark room
i wait collecting tears
...

you came uninvited
you broke into me
and stole my soon to be new baby
you broke my heart
...

...

im standing on a cliff
with a needle in my arm
i stare at the clouds while
the voices whisper around me
...

inside i am ugly
nothing but darkness within
no beauty to behold
only sorrow to be shamefully told
...

Everyone suffering
All of us
This written in tears
They say: no hope, my dear
...

my eyes throw razors
they cut conversations
my ears hear whispers
they ignore my roommate
...